John McBush’s big moment in tonight’s “town hall” meeting might not have been his announcement of another big bailout…his suggestion that the government buy up all the bad mortgages in America…up to $300 billion on top of the $700 billion just signed into law last week. No, it might just have been his dismissive reference to Barack Obama as “that one.” Looking grumpy as usual, McCain could be seen tottereing around in the background often while Obama was speaking, as if lost. Referring to Obama as “that one” came across not only as goofy….did he forget Obama’s name?…but could be seen as near racist. His suggestion to nominate Meg Whitman, founder of eBay as his Treasury Secretary, on reflection also seems strange…maybe his solution to America’s financial crisis is…put America on eBay.

John McBush is fond of using the tired old phrase “gates of hell.” As in “When I’m President I will follow Osama Bin Laden to the Gates of Hell.” (Obama’s retort is “McCain will follow Osama Bin Laden to the gates of Hell, but not to a cave in Pakistan.”) With only about 4 weeks left in the most important Presidential election in the past 50 years, Mcbush is about to give new meaning to his favorite old phrase. Behind in the polls and losing ground daily, McBush is about to unlock the proverbial gates of hell with the most god-awful, disgraceful, sick and dirty campaign in the history of American politics. Look for talk about Obama’s patriotism and character to be not only challenged but gutted, bled and field dressed like an innocent Alaskan moose, like a lone wolf slaughtered by gunfire from a helicopter. Look for TV ads of planes flying into the Twin Towers juxtaposed with Obama’s years-ago visit to Kenya when he donned a head scarf “Ghutra” as a tribute to local customs. Look for accusations of Obama attending a muslim school (Madressa)when he was five years old. Look for Rev.Wright ads; flag pin ads, Bill “the bomber” Ayers ads. Look for not-so-vague accusations that, “my gawd, people, don’t forget this guy is black.” Cover and prepare yourself for 30 days of McBush’s campaign flushing itself of it’s inner poisons, it’s bloated cancerous bile. It’s all about winning at this point. Whatever it takes. McCain sold his soul long ago. Maybe it was in that Viet Cong prison. Maybe it it was when he came home to his soon-to-be-abandoned disfigured wife in the hospital healing from a car accident; maybe it was after he escaped unscathed from his involvement in the Keating Five savings and loan scandal; he’s now selling that poor desiccated soul again, the one for sale in the back lot, used and abused, odometer turned back, wheels out of alignment, cracked engine block. Runs great, he says. Til after election day when you try to start it up, drive it and it coughs and sputters all the way straight thru the Gates of Hell.

Sarah Palin didn’t debate. And for that she won. Joe Biden did debate. And for that he won, hands down. Palin was pure theatre, all squeaky sound bites, eye rolls, country kitchen you-betchas, darn-it enywees, American Idol beauty pageant hokum. She didn’t vomit, didn’t succumb to vapors, didn’t have to hold in her arms that poor retarded baby Trig (or Track, Tic, Tac whatever) …no, she stood behind the podium armed with paint-by-number platitudes, over-the-top girly winks, head bobs and eyelash flutters. The only “I’m a sexy lady” come-on gesture she failed to employ was the hair-toss…not possible due to her 1980’s style scrunched-up beehive-mullet. Biden was respectful, thoughtful, forceful and effectively logical. Palin was not so respectful (can I call you Joe?…he always said “Governor Palin”) hardly thoughtful and maddeningly goofy. If she were running for president of the PTA I might vote for her. Biden was not afflicted with his famous symptoms of logorrhea; Palin reveled in, cheered and celebrated her own vacuousness. She was petri-dish bio-engineered baloney; he was an aged, tender, grass-fed rare rib-eye. And to the fast-food fed masses her baloney tasted pretty good. I prefer a real meal.

Attack Pakistan

Practice playing Risk

Check for roaches in beehive

Practice giving Joe Biden a noogie

Check for Rooskies near the border

Shiny’n die, siccem mi si, hoodaraki saki.

Attend church and cast out your inner witch again.

Re-read your copy of Intelligent Design and if asked about your qualifications to handle the nuclear codes, just remind them of your belief that dinosaurs and humans walked the Earth at the same time.

Cleavage, cleavage, cleavage

Even though my debate fashion tips were ignored, Obama accounted for himself fairly well. National consensus is a tie. Grumpy McBush refusing ever to even glance a squinty-eyed peek at Obama; hunched, grinning malevolently like Heath Ledger’s The Joker, old raspy voice an “I-told-you” scold, short arms punching and pounding ancient air released from a dusty canister of Kissinger and Schultz. Obama, upright and straight-eyed, a thin, sleek and tall modern avatar of avant-garde Apollonian authority, spoke in a slow modulated and precise, yet lofty graduate school reading level. (A transcription of McBush’s sentences would yield a lower, yet more translatable to average American dumbed-down ears, 5th grade reading level.)

McCain failed to wear a flag pin. Either he forgot or he arrogantly assumed that his POW experience gave him a patriot pass. I assume he doesn’t love America as much as Obama.

Obama’s big mistake was being too much the statesman and gentleman. As my signiff-othaa Cyndee Loo, a skilled debater in her own right, noted, one never starts off a rebuttal as Obama did repeatedly, with “I absolutely agree with Senator McBush…I agree…Senator McBush is right, etc. Instead, Cyndee Loo advises for the next debate, Obama, if he insists on sounding nice and formal, simply say, “I’m glad Senator McBush agrees with me…” Says the same thing, but turns it around and doesn’t lend itself to an attack ad of Obama repeating how he agrees with his opponent.

To hell with debate strategy…what really counts is debate fashion. Follow these fashion tips Barack, and you’ll be declared the winner of the Mississippi debate tonight:

Wear two flag pins. On on each lapel. If McBush shows up with only one, then you can say you love America more than he does.

Wear a gold cross pin also. This will prove once and for all that you are not a Muslim. If McBush fails to wear some symbol of christianity, then maybe, he’s NOT a christian…maybe he’s a…a…Terromuslim, or Islamonazi..gawd-only knows what you might really be, John McBush.

Wear one of those fish symbols…see above.

Wear a blue suit, white shirt, and red tie.

Don’t forget the pink ribbon for breast cancer research. Women’s vote….and on your wrist one of those “Live Strong” Lance Armstrong rubber bands…white men on bikes with testicular cancer vote.

An earring on you right ear…gay vote…gotta have it.

Confederate flag pin…need those rednecks.

Oh, yeh, and be the first to show up at a debate wearing a baseball cap…with DeKalb Corn on it. Need those farmers, dude.

White iPod earbuds and cord gives a cool youth look.

An STP sticker on the back of your suit? Why not? You’ll already have the total NASCAR advertising look anyway.

This little piece has been circulating around the net the past few weeks…even showed up in my email inbox…too good not to keep circulating:

I’m a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight: If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you’re “exotic”, “different.”

BUT Grow up in Alaska eating moose burgers, yours is a quintessential American story.

If your name is Barack you’re a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.

BUT Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, and you’re a maverick.

Graduate from Harvard law School, you are unstable.

BUT Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you’re well grounded.

If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a state senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment, Public Works, and Veteran’s Affairs committees, you don’t have any real leadership experience.

BUT If your total resume is: Local sports reporter, 4 years on the city council, 6 years as mayor of a town of approximately 5,000 people, 20 months as governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you’re qualified to become the country’s second-highest ranking executive.

If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you’re not a real Christian.

BUT If you cheated on your wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you’re a Christian.

If you teach responsible, age-appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.

BUT If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state’s school system, while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you’re very responsible.

If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family’s values don’t represent America’s.

BUT If you’re husband is nicknamed “First Dude”, with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn’t register to vote until age 25, and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

OK, much clearer now.

OMG….Just got my hands on these hacked emails from Sarah “The Pain” Palin’s “Sent Folder”….they were all sent before her selection as potential president of the United States… I think they shed a lot of light on her presidential decision-making and ability to lead as the most powerful person in the world.

To: First Dude

Subject: Bro-in-Law

Pleeese, pleeese, FD, that good fur nothin’ brotha-in-law is still roamin’ the streets of Juneau. I want his buckskin bottom buckshot and field dressed. Do it now…honey…specially if you ever want any more Gubernatorial booty!!

To: First Dude

Subject: What Brown Can Do Fur You

Goddmit, FD, you lazy moose turd, if I tole you once I tole you hunnerd times to git your ass over to Walmart and get me that there tanning bed I saw last weekend. If I have to face my Alaskans one more day with this pale white, yet firm and nubile bod, I’m gonna take a snowshoe and kick it up your sorry half Eskimo-ass ass. Now move it FD !! specially if you ever again want to see my tanned, smooth legs akimbo around your skinny ass.

To: First Dude

Subject: You Sorry-Ass Fucker

Well, shitfire, FD….some babysitter you are!! Here I sit in a goddam cosmopolitan city for a guvernor meeting and you go and take Bristol and and her friends to the Juneau Cinema to see that god-blesseded movie Juno…you know I love movies where the girl rejects abortion, but I think that Bristol might get the wrong idea and go and get hersef PG…ever think of that dumbshit? All I can say if she gets knockedup it’s your goddamm fault, FD..and you know it !! Look what happened last year when you let Willow go see that Knocked Up movie…I’m telling you I will not, repeat, I will not pretend to be pregnant again !!! And if I do have to, you know what you can do with that popeils pocket fishing pole of yours !!!!!

ok…both candidates…let’s get on with the real issues.
enuff:
lipstick on animals
celebrities
Michelle
Cindy
Pastors
Religion
Gay marriage
No gay marriage
Number of houses
POW cards
Community organizers
abortion

and more of this stuff:

Palin..exposing her lies & unfitness for VP & P
health care solutions
fixing the economy
getting out of Iraq
energy solutions
jobs for Americans
education solutions

David Foster Wallace hanged himself Friday night. He wrote one of the greatest American novels, “Infinite Jest,” which is also one of the best tennis novels ever written. One of his themes was America’s obsession with entertaining itself to death.Read Michiko Kukutani’s overview of Wallace’s literary career in today’s New York Times. He was 46. And I cannot explain, to myself or to anyone, the sadness I feel. http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/15/books/15kaku.html?em

If someone paid for a TV ad that overtly implied that you are a pervert and pederast, would you just brush it off and say, well, that’s unfortunate. That’s how Barack Obama is reacting to a recent TV ad paid for and approved by John McCain. Obama needs to go on national TV for a special …pay for prime-time on all the networks and cable outlets…and announce to the nation that “enough is enough…that I’m am being slandered in the foulest meaning of the word and that I have initiated legal action (I know you can’t sue and win against public figures…but do it anyway)..against John McCain and the Republican Party for egregious slander and libel. ” Remind the American public that you are the father of two little girls who are being subjected to lies about the honor of their father. Show some OUTRAGE, Obama…you’re in danger of being Dukakisized….who acted like a disembodied souless politician when asked if he would still be against the death penalty if his wife Kitty were raped and murdered…wake up Obama and smell the pig shit..not the pig lipstick..it’s being dumped on you man. Act like a man and challenge McCain to a duel at dawn…stand up for your honor, your family, your country’s sense of fair play…for the American Way.

“I’m John McCain, and I approve of this ad.” “This ad” is the “education” ad recently launched by the McCain campaign which implies, not too subtly, that Obama is a pederast who wants to teach kindergartners all about “comprehensive” sex. The ad accuses Obama of spponsoring a bill in the Illinois legislature to teach “comprehensive sex education” to kindergarten kids. Obama did not sponsor this bill, which was designed to allow teachers to teach kids how to protect themselves from sexual predators. the bill would not have provided “medically accurate” information about sex but would have reserved that for older students in higher grades.
According to the Washington Post, “The McCain ad is wrong when it claims — in a voice dripping with sarcasm — that Obama’s “one accomplishment” in the education field was a sex education bill for kindergartners. While it is true that Obama supported the bill, he was not one of the sponsors. As far as kindergartners were concerned, the principal purpose of the bill was to make them aware of the risk of inappropriate touching and sexual predators. Other states, including California and Massachusetts, have passed similar legislation. the Post goes on the say, “Obama was more closely identified with other education legislation in the Illinois Senate, including a 2003 bill he co-sponsored to double the number of Chicago charter schools from 15 to 30. On substance, Obama has attempted to tread a fine line between his opposition to vouchers and his support for greater choice for parents, including support for charter schools. In a speech in Dayton, Ohio, earlier this week, he proposed doubling the funding for “responsible charter schools.” http://buzz.yahoo.com/article/1:washington_po284:50fd6b7a8939b669999bc5204c747409

You gotta hate those emails from friends that show up in your email account..often jokes, corny witticisms, advice for new mothers, old fathers, empty-nesters; good-luck messages that promise riches beyond Cindy McCain and threaten dire consequences if you don’t send this within 30 seconds to 30 friends or you’ll be struck with polio or leprosy…thought I got one of those today from a friend when I opened my email box….but no…this one truly deserves to be shared…or we will surely face dire consequences.

Subject: Fw: Hey Ladies (and Gents)! Make some noise.

Friends, compatriots, fellow-lamenters,

We are writing to you because of the fury and dread we have felt since the announcement of Sarah Palin as the Vice-Presidential candidate for the Republican Party. We believe that this terrible decision has surpassed mere partisanship, and that it is a dangerous farce—on the part of a pandering and rudderless Presidential candidate—that has a real possibility of becoming fact.

Perhaps like us, as American women, you share the fear of what Ms. Palin and her professed beliefs and proven record could lead to for ourselves and for our present or future daughters. To date, she is against sex education, birth control, the pro-choice platform, environmental protection, alternative energy development, freedom of speech (as mayor she attempted to ban books and fired the librarian who refused), gun control, the separation of church and state, and polar bears. To say nothing of her complete lack of experience.

We want to clarify that we are not against Sarah Palin as a woman, a mother, or, for that matter, a parent of a pregnant teenager, but solely as a rash, incompetent, and all together devastating choice for Vice President. Ms. Palin’s political views are in every way a slap in the face to the accomplishments that our mothers and grandmothers and great-grandmothers so fiercely fought for, and that we’ve so demonstrably benefited from.

First and foremost, Ms. Palin does not represent us. She does not demonstrate or uphold our interests as American women. It is presumed that the inclusion of a woman on the Republican ticket could win over women voters. We want to disagree, publicly.

Therefore, we invite you to reply here with a short, succinct message about why you, as a woman living in this country, do not support this candidate as second-in-command for our nation.

Please include your name (last initial is fine), age, and place of residence.

We will post your responses on a blog called ‘Women Against Sarah Palin,’ which we intend to publicize as widely as possible. Please send us your reply at your earliest convenience—the greater the volume of responses we receive, the stronger our message will be.

Thank you for your time and action.

VIVA!

Sincerely,

Quinn Latimer and Lyra Kilston
New York, NY
womensaynopalin@gmail.com

**PLEASE FORWARD WIDELY! If you send this to 20 women in the next hour, you could be blessed with a country that takes your concerns seriously. Stranger things have happened.

SNUS. Frost. Snus Frost…RJR’s Camel brand of mentholated snuff…you know, the tobacco shit you put a pinch of it between your cheek and gum..whoo boy…Snus, baby. Cain’t git enus of that cool snus. Holy sheeeet.

Oh, what a maverick. Delivering one of the most conventional, stilted and snore-inducing speeches in the history of nominating conventions, John McCain talked about “fighting for you…for standing on your side and not standing your way.” He mentioned specific people, citizens from different cities and states…an over-used speech convention made popular by Ronald Raygun. McCain looks wizened, like a character from Lord of the Rings. In his “maverick” wooden speech style, McCain told delegates that “We’re going to change that.” He also said “We are all Americans.” and, get this, “We believe in personal responsibility.” Woooo, heavy sheet, dude. Guess what, “I will reduce taxes.” Wow…Shaking his trembling fists, McCain also electrified is audience with this zinger: “We’re going to stop sending $750 million overseas to countries that don’t like us.” (yeah, like Iraq…where we currently are spending $10 billion a day?) And this…”it’s time to show the world how America leads.” Man, who wrote this?

Why must we endure speeches from the spouses of our candidates for president? What the f…is that about? Michelle Obama…nice speech…but why should we give a rat’s ass. Cindy McCain tonight preaching to the elderly repooblican choir. Notice Cindy didn’t stand behind a podium? Why hide that expensive fluorescent blue suit behind a lecturn? Cindy’s golden outfit last night was estimated by fashion experts to cost in the range of $300,000…about $6,000 for the dress, and over $250,000 for her diamond earrings. Not bad for a beer budget. And if we must endure speeches, from the candidates or their spouses, nephews, dessicated mothers or transparent-skinned dads, teleprompters should be banned. No teleprompters. Let’em either read their speech off notes or paper, or memorize it. On second thought, let’em memorize it…no notes or paper. Now that would be entertainment!

The first 5 mins of Palin’s speech resembled an Oprah show…her kids, her parents, hubby cheered by the aging delegates finally roused from their early bird special dinners. This speech was so unauthentic, so obviously not her words, but instead rotten red meaty words ripped and torn by speech writers, written months ago and fed into a meat grinder to be spewed by whatever VP nominee McBush chose. This speech was a collection of left-over garbage scraps sucked from the McCain speech writers’ cutting floor. Yes, Palin can certainly read a speech from a teleprompter. She was scarcastic, mean-spirited, sneering and effective and energizing to her audience. Whether she can take this on the road successfully is to be seen. And for the end of show Oprah-closing, as advised by Team McBush, she held her baby and as also advised teen sexy pregnant couple held hands.

An aside: email received today from a friend: “I watched last night and is that hall a crypt of old death going on? Bunch of folks frozen in time who have no clue of what real people deal with.”

Will this election be decided like the 2000 Bush vs. Gore and 2004 Bush vs. Kerry when voters had to decide this question of the ages: Who would you rather have a beer with? Will this year’s big question, one that determines the Presidency of the United States of America, be this: Who would you rather field dress a caribou with? Palin or Obama?

Can you imagine what right-wing radio nut Flush Phlegmball would be ranting if a Democrat VP female choice announced that her 17 year-old unmarried daughter was pregnant? Would the rightwingnut bloggers and rightwing radio hatecasters have any qualms about attacking the values, morals, ethics of a liberal in the same situation as Sarah Palin? Can you hear Fush? “Liberal ethics, feminisim run-amok and loose liberal family values all contributed to and promoted an atmosphere that encouraged premarital teen sex, and probably drugs, devil worship and coordination with Islamofacists for the defeat of America.” But oh, no…here we have a double standard. Since it’s a repooblican, it’s hands-off. In fact it’s congratulations, Sarah…job well done. What an inspiring family-values story…hard-working mom of five confronts challenge of pregnant unmarried teen..encourages daughter to have baby rather than abort. What a rockwellian portrait.

Is John McBush putting the country in harm’s-way by choosing as his potential successor a self-described “average hockey-mom?” The American people didn’t have a chance to vote for Sarah Palin during the primaries to be McBush’s VP. Should he win the Presidency and should something happen to cause McBush to not be able to continue in Office….Sarah Palin, a two-year Governor of Alaska, former mayor of a small town of 8,000 would assume the position of the most powerful leader in the world. McBush saw Obama’s magnificant acceptance speech last night, made one of his infamous quick snap decisions, saying in effect, I’ll get a woman who’ll grab all those disaffected Hillraisers; those dastardly democrats rejected a woman to not only be their standard-bearer for the Presidency, but deemed her not even worthy of second string. Oh, well, she’s a woman…and women, according to McBush, are inter-changeable…seen one, seen ’em all.

Will she be a Sarah “Connor” Palin…terminating the democrats in November or just a plain unexperienced unknown Sarah “Who” Palin, terminating McCain’s quest. Regardless, check out her acceptance by Repooblicans next week in the Twin McBush Cities…if you see a lot of beehive hairdo’s you’ll know they love her. She should be strong in the beehive hair states of West “by-god” Virginia, Kentucky and lots of the deep south. That’s the buzz from praajek.

Can’t wait for my doorbell to ring any moment today…a Western Union telegraph announcing John McCain’s VP pick. Or maybe it will be the Avon Lady.

Whew. A national democratic sigh of relief that Big Bill did the right thang last night. The guy is so smooth, a speech style like he’s sitting across the table from you. Not too loud, sincere, fun, twinkle in his eye and the ever-wagging finga. Conversational. Convincing and a bit mezmerizing. He’s still a dawg, but a big tongue-hanging, tail-wagging hound with eyes begging for attention. Bill sucked it up last night and did the right thing. Thank you Bill.

That was the theme of Hillary’s perfect-pitch/pitch-perfect speech Tuesday night. Sure sounded good. Lots of McCain hits, even mentioned Obama’s name numerous times. Yet what was it about her speech that left me cold? Hillary the Stepford pol. The body language as good, positive yet shouting “look at me!” Her voice, modulated and softer than her normal scolding one-note dominatrix drone, the words were the word she should have said. (Although note she never addressed the “he’s not ready to lead” issue.) She looked fantastic in her orange pantsuit, even joking about her sistahood of the travelling panties. All adds up to what should have equalled the ultimate endorsement, the final healing and melding of the opposing forces. But what I was left with was the feeling that it wasn’t about Barack Obama, but all about Hillary. Message: see what you’re missing…you could’ve had me.

Here we go again…more suspense, more rumors, the speculation of VP pick. This time it’s McBush. Hate to ruin the suspense but I just intercepted a secret missive from an unknown agent in Vietnam….regarding who McBush will select. It appears from the intercepted message, a Queen of Hearts playing card with one heart upside down, that McBush is being directed to choose….Hillary Clinton. Stay tuned…and check back with Praajek for updates

..S ……………..E
OBAMA BI (NLA) DIN Change some letters and you have a repooblican attack bumper sticker. My graphic design artist friend Sammy noted yesterday the way the two names are evocative, subliminally maybe, of Osama BinLadin. Playing around with the letters prove him correct. Maybe Team Obama should avoid posters, bumper stickers and buttons with Obama- Biden. How about Barack & Joe.

Team Obama…guess I’m showing my age, but I wasn’t out clubbing last night at 2:36 a.m. when you sent that long-anticipated text announcing Barack’s VP choice…anyway, Biden b good.

Recent reports that John McCain eats the middle-eastern dish couscous. Hmmmm. And he calls Obama an arugula-eater. Hey, McCain..we know who eats couscous…them terraists. And them gonna win cause you eatin couscous, you couscous-eatin, seven or eight house-ownin, injured wife-dumpin’ trophy-wife grabin, POW-card-playing septugenerian, bankruptin’- America, tax-cutting-for-the rich, temper=tantrum-throwing….to be continued…..

From a reliable source…Obie has chosen John Edwards…I mean Chet. 18 yr. congressman from Texas…blue dog dem…military brass would kill for him, gun nuts shoot-off over him, good ol’ white neck beer-belly dudes burp over him, gays lock themselves back in the closet over him, femmies would’nt invite him to bed but wouldn’t kick ’em out either….could a guy named Chester become Vice Prez? Remember Chester A. Arthur, 21st. President? Repooblican? Me neither, but he made it to the White House when Prez Garfield died in office in 1821. You read it here. If not Chet, then a Joe. Chet. Say it a few times. Chet. Chet. Chet. Holy Chet !

Ideas for new pilot TV shows:

House: Crazy, hot-tempered filthy-rich politician addicted to buying palatial houses in chic locations; back story…dumped his poor over-weight wife after she is hideously injured in a car accident and hooks up with a thin rich blond beer heiress. Develops a burning ambition to be President of the U.S.

These Old Houses: Super-wealthy Arizona elderly couple continually forget where they live so they keep purchasing new homes. Back story: Spent five years as an Asian POW as a young soldier…returns to US and is suddenly obsessed with not only buying homes, but also becoming the President of the US.

Question?

Where does John McCain stand on the U.S. housing crisis?

Answer: In all of the seven, eight, nine or ten homes he owns.

Ok…Obie Ain’t Gonna Pick T-Boone Pickens.
This just in…General Wesley Clark. Take it to the bank. (IndyMac?).

Obama’s announcement this week of his VP could rock the political landscape. Former swift-boat money man, oil baron and repooblican financier T-Boone Pickens is Praajek’s praajekshun as Obie’s runnin’ mate. Picture this: Obama’s pick of a Pickens prick will piss and pique , not placate, the Dems perfect prime-time party. (if he doesn’t pick Pickens, then he’ll pick the pilloried Hillary.) You read it first here.

Enough is enough, Team Obama. Enough of the “that’s unfortunate…” and “we’re disappointed…”..get real Obama…August is the Swift-Boating month for Dems..and get your butt back on the campaign path (no trail, please)…no vacations dude. Praajek put together a little TV ad for you…check it out:

Shame on you John Edwards. If you’re gonna have an affair at least have one with a babe worth looking at…not some 40 something year-old who looks as if she’s been ridden hard and put away wet.

John “TheJohn” McCain (aksa McBush/McSame) was in Sturgis yesterday addressing one of his most reliable voting blocs: old fat white guys who think they can still get it up for younger biker chicks. McCain offered his wife Cindy up for competition in the Ms. Buffalo Chip Pageant. Check out the finals of the competition:

Ok, McBush thinks he’s cuil© by hangin out with a “wild bunch” of pot-bellied white geezers in Sturgis, Montana. Yeah, wrong-wing christian biblethupas, check out this geriatric gathering of bachanalians at Sturgis…elder babes in topless non-attire….whoeeee !! Big-bellied jesus-tattooed way2-white dudes awaiting cardiac experiences. Mota-sicka Sex, B-Thumpas. Demon brew ova-flowin gutters of Sturgis. Holy Sheet, McBush gitin’ down wit his voting bloc. Wannabe hellsangels wit bitches behind clawin with veiny-skinned fingas graspy in vain round sad belly globs of viagra-induced stillwannabea boy bellys. Oh Obama. How you gonna match up? How you gonna contrast those 200,000 Berliners shouting “Yas Vee Kahn..Yas Vee Kahn, Yas Wee Kahn…witha a corralfulla ersatz two wheeled cowboys?

Answer: Praajek’s minions caught Obie @ a recent event …media not invited…that just plain puts to shame McBush’s Sturgis Surgis. Check this out…Obama’s Orgy in Lambrettaville. 2Hot! The USA Wildarse Lambretta Scooter & Book Club. Hundreds (well, a few dozen..) gathered recently in Obama’s south side Hyde Park hood to strut their scoots (Lambrettas) while discussing the “Rules for Radicals,” by Saul Alinsky. Kick arse, J.McBush! Copulate Sturgis and your nursinghome motorsickle patients…Obama’s got Lambretta.

What a funny guy….Mad McCain’s latest TV ads mock Obama as too celeb and mock the Bible story of Moses…hey, rightwing bible-thumpers….what’cha think of that? Anyway, Mad McCain says the TV ads are just his way of injecting some fun into the campaign. A real jokester…remember McCain’s 1998 joke suggesting that Chelsea Clinton was ugly and Janet Reno and Hillary Clinton were lesbians.

“Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly?” McCain said at a GOP fund-raiser in Washington. “Because Janet Reno is her father.”

“I have witnessed incidents where he has used profanity at colleagues and exploded at colleagues,” said former Senator Bob Smith, a New Hampshire Republican who served with McCain on the Senate Armed Services Committee and on Republican policy committees. “He would disagree about something and then explode. It was incidents of irrational behavior. We’ve all had incidents where we have gotten angry, but I’ve never seen anyone act like that.”

“What has struck me about McCain is that everybody underestimated the ability of his advisers and him to hypnotize the national media, because most of us in the media in Arizona thought of him as a guy who had a terrible temper, occasionally had a foul mouth, a guy who whined and pouted unless he got his way,” Murphy said. “McCain has a temper that is bombastic, volatile, and purple-faced. Sometimes he gets out of control. Do you want somebody sitting in the White House with that kind of temper?’….Pat Murphy, an editor at the Arizona Republic, 2006…

With Mad McCain’s documented history of foul-mouthed outbursts and on-the-verge of freakin-out temper tantrums, he wakes every day a shuffling, quivering surge of repressed anger barely contained by a variety of common meds that his staff fear he might forget to injest with his morning bowl of cream of wheat and prune juice.

Old Mrs. McCain… New Improved Mrs. McCain

News leaking out of a John Edwards love child affair with a women associated with his now-suspended campaign. Get ready for big time media coverage of this…Edwards is/was still on Obama’s VP short list…and a possible shoe-in for an Obama cabinet position. Lost in all the coverage of John Edwards’ alleged affair will be the story of another John…a family values, sanctity of marriage John who when his wife was disabled from an accident pursued a frisky blonde beer heiress named Cindy…no Henry Hyde “youthful discretions” here for this John who was 42 years old chasing the 25 year old trophy blonde.

It’s here. The One Hundred Dollar Cup of Coffee. As noted in this month’s Wired, the Indonesian java bean goes for about $600 a pound and for a cuppa of shit you’ll plunk down a benjie. “Kopi Luwak, also known as catshit coffee…” is made from “an Indonesian bean that’s eaten by a civet cat, then “harvested” from the animal’s dung…flavor…improved by passing thru the cat’s digestive track.” Mmmmm good. Pick of the litter.

Granite counter tops can emit radiation. As reported in the NY Times today, “health physicists and radiation experts agree that most granite countertops emit radiation and radon at extremely low levels.” But EPA is reporting calls from radon inspectors about granite counter tops with “measurements several times above background levels. Look for new real estate ad lingo:….with “no-rad granite counter tops.”

Timeless:
1948 Studebaker
Nagouchi coffee table
Mozart Sonata for Piano # 1
Steinway Grand Piano
Properly mixed and stirred gin martini
John McBush’s plan for withdrawal of American forces from Iraq. Timeless.

Looks like this presidential campaign can be summed up by the recent choices of blockbuster movies out this week. Repooblican John McBush went to see Mama Mia….ahhh, isn’t that sweet…nice harmless romantic flix for our elder candidate…the Buick of summer movies. Guess what movie Barack went to see before his risky ventures into foreign politics…(even more riskier since McBush revealed to the world, in violation of security protocols, that Barack would be in Iraq this weekend….)…yes..Dark Knight Obama chose to see “Dark Knight” the new Batman movie. Kind of puts things in perspective…

Who says you can’t joke about Obama? I just made up three gut-bustin’ laffers that Letterman would die for:

1) Obama walks into a bar and orders a cup of decaffinated Earl Grey. “We ain’t got no friggin’ tea, busta,” says the bartender. “Ok,” says Obama, “I changed my mind, give me a light beer, Belgium, please.” Announcing to the barroom loudly the bartender shouts, “Now, that’s real change we can believe in.”

2). A Rabbi, a priest, a Baptist preacher and Barack Obama all meet unexpectedly in a brothel parlor. Rabbi says, “Father, what brings you here?” “I’m here to hear confessions of the girls who work here,” says Father. “What in heavens are you doing here, Rabbi?” “I’m here for a bris,” says the Rabbi. What in the name of Yaweh are you doing here in a brothel, Reverend?” “Oh, Rabbi, I’m here to save the soul of our Muslim friend Barack. And just why are YOU here, Barack?” “Well, I’m just here to get laid before Jesse cuts my nuts off.”

3) Barack Obama walks into a Starbucks and orders a grande double espresso iced machinano americano cappuchino with whipped creame and a cinnamon stick. No sugar. “Would you like fries with that,” the barrista asks. “You can do that?” Barack asks. “YES WE CAN,” shouts the barrista.

Indianapolis, Columbus, Ft. Wayne, Cincinnati. Welcome to the flesh pots of America. This Golden Diamond of Sex constitutes the four top “randiest” cities in America according the this month’s Men’s Health magazine. Factoring birth rates, condom and sex toy sales, the top 100 sex cities topped off with the randy Midwest Four. Most frigid city in the nation? Lexington, KY. Come on you’re not that far from Cincinnati……let’s make it Sexington next year.

Although someone stole my most recent New Yorker…or else the postoffice lady looked at the cover and decided it was not fit for delivery, the cover cartoon, so widely shown across the world, was funny. And not. As a Barack supporter, I know he’s got to take some knocks and be subjected fairly to satire. Fairly. Not so sure about this one…which attempts to satirize the misconceptions, rumors, blatant lies and innuendoes swirling about the Obamas. As Bill Maher said about it, “If you can’t do irony on the cover of The New Yorker, where can you do it?” Problem is, Bill, this is not irony. According the New Yorker publisher David Remnick, the cartoon cover attempted to depict what right-wingers think about the Obamas. Not sure it succeeds in this. Even a New Yorker fan such as Praajek thought this one plays it in reverse. Instead of satire or irony, it fans the fires of the very lies people are spreading about the Obamas. Verdict: New Yorker…you blew it. Now, where is my copy that I paid for?

Don’t those TV ads for US Trust/Bank of America just warm the ventricles of your fast-pumpin lil’ heart? Introduced last Fall and continuing to air today, the BOA ads are aimed at today’s modern millionaires who earned rather than inherited their fortunes. Bout time someone paid attention to these po hard-working folks. The ads, “aimed at individuals with at least $3 million to invest, revolve around the idea of self-made money…… ” According to a BOA press release adapted as a New York Times news story, one television spot focuses on a man in his 50s with a vintage automobile collection. “The most valuable car in his collection isn’t the Italian roadster or Le Mans racer or the British limousine, but a 1968 bus,” says a woman’s voice as grainy footage of a family plays, showing the man in his younger days with a vintage Volkswagen bus.

Another ad begins with a camera panning a row of suburban tract houses. A serene voice says: “She owns a house in Palm Beach. A villa in St. Bart’s. A condo in Sun Valley. And yet a piece of her still lives on a cul-de-sac in Ohio.” Awww…that’s just darn-right all-American-cuddley. With today’s economy tanking, mortgage defaults at record highs, rising food and fuel costs…it’s good to know that America’s self-made millionaires will be able to manage their wealth. Whew. Cross that one off my worry list.

Firmafrugt: The Danish Workplace Fruit Initiative
Denmark is the only country with a well-established program bringing the “Five a Day” fruit and vegetable concept into the workplace. In Denmark, this is actually a six-a-day program, called “6
om dagen”. Here’s one of there posters to promote “6-a-Day…of course the Danish pronunciation of the number “six” is ….sex. Could it work here in the U.S.?

Aw, schucks…poor Billah just can’t get ova losin’. You’d think after being the first President to get impeached since 1868 that he might be a bit more humble and might even be able to live up to his vaulted political reputation as the most astute politician in modern history. But noooo…Billah just caint stand it. As reported in London’s Daily Telegraph, “a senior Democrat who worked for Mr Clinton has revealed that he recently told friends Mr Obama could “kiss my ass” in return for his support.” Willie, get ova it, dude. Get busy and do your peace keeping thang ovaseas..travel round the world, pick up some furrin booty and be happy mahn.

It was Hillary back to her old flat mono-tone voice warming up the crowd in Unity, NH. And there was Barack sitting behind and to the side of her in a very long blue tie…hanging down between his legs. New fashion statement? Hope not. According to a recent poll, only about six percent of American men today wear neckties to work. Barack…listen to me, man..lose the necktie. Especially the too-long ones…how about wearing a Guayabera?…the shirt popular in Cuba, Latin America, Africa and Asia. It’s cool, comfy and just casual enough to look neat and dressed on the campaign path (no trails here).

Yo, Praajekians…check out this YouTube video…not a waste of time…especially if you don’t mind having some fun. (disclosure: the lovely young lady is PraaJek’s neice and the talented scruffy dude is…well, Erik.) Click on image.

One of the great entertainment shows in America used to take place on Lake Delton Wisconsin, home of the famous Tommy Bartlett water show. Most delighting audiences were the skiing squirrels…bushy-tailed rodents on tiny skis firmly clasping the rope handles with squirrel-like tenacity. When Lake Delton suddenly drained away last week after torrential downpours washed out the dam, the muddy lake bed revealed its secrets. Among the usual detrius, sunken flotsam and jetsam and beer bottles, to their horror, scavengers gazed upon thousands of tiny skis and bony rodent carasses, little fists clenched defiantly as if saying to Tommy Bartlett himself, “I gotta be nuts for doing this…”

After deliberating less than a day a Chicago jury declared R&B star R. Kelly not guilty on charges of child porn. The jury began the trial by watching the 27 minute sex video and before deliberating watched it again and asked the judge for a copy to watch during deliberations. After the acquittal, Kelly’s lawyers passed out autographed copies of the sex video to the excited jurors. Kelly reportedly said that the first thing he wants to do is to see his god-daughter-sex video co-star and “just shower that girrl with gold” for all the pain and hurt this trial has caused her.

Fashion tip for Michelle Obie: lose the sleeveless outfits…cover your arms…too much arm flesh crashes with the too-wide derriere. Long covered sleeves, at least forearm length, will taper your torso giving the illusion of a slimmer behind. (hmmm….maybe Hillary has some pants suits she could sell you)

From: Shame on You Barack Obama
to:
that is why
we must elect
Barack Obama
our President.

http://swamppolitics.com/news/politics/blog/2008/06/hillary_clintons_concession_sp.html

Pretty damn good speech, that Hellary gave Saturday. Finally. Guess I gotta stop being so juvy by calling her Hell….and start spelling her name correctly…. Hill…a..ry…ok, yeah, I know it’s cheap and silly “humor” calling people names, but during this primary season, Hellary (sheesh…ok, ok….Hillary!) stooped to such slimy innuendoes about Barack…remember when she said “I don’t think he’s a Muslim…” and when in Ohio she said, “Shame on you Barack Obama.” and Bill saying about Hillary and McCain..”“I think it would be a great thing if we had an election year where you had two people who loved this country and were devoted to the interest of this country,”…inference: Obama does not love America? Anyhoo…Hillary, you dissed Barrack to the max baby, so it’s hard to trust you (“your Bobby Kennedy was assassinated quote).

Despite the rave reviews of your Saturday speech Hillary, I couldn’t help but detect an edge, a bitter edge. The three or four times you say: “and
that is why
we must elect
Barack Obama
our President.”
is figuratively (no, not literally) dripping with a bitterness that says “okaaaay, I gotta dooo this…you want me to endorse you, okaaay, I’ll endorse you alright, listen to this, asshole…”and…thaaat is why, we must elect, Barack Obama, our Pres-i-dent…” nah nah, nah, nah…yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yada yada yada.

I’m sorry, but that did not sound like a sincere endorsement to me. I think we’ve seen the last of Hillary in any significant positive role in Obama’s campaign to win the Presidency.

After declaring victory this week on the night Barack Obama won the democratic nomination for Prezident and bold-facededly spouting two bold-face lies (that South Dakota’s vote for her was the last state in the primary season…a lie…Montana’s vote for Barack was the contest bookend…and “I’ve won the popular vote” lie….) Hellary’s truculent, stubborn and egotistical inability to face reality finally has hit the wall today. Voters, the primary rules, Party leaders, superdelegates and common sense has finally won the day.

But wait…there’s more ! What a hang-over. Hellary opens her eyes the morning after the last two primaries…still in the fog of her REM-induced dream…..
“I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”…..
….. Hellary opens her Botoxed Bambie-fied eyes*…OMG, that’s not Supreme Court Justice John Roberts swearing me in…it’s….it’s…nooooo…it can’t be…it’s Bill, it’s Bill…pillow-side deep in dream drool, REMMY eyelids twitching in languid, sensuous rhythmic in-and-out-motions…must….get….out….of…..bed…next campaign stop…popular vote…ready to serve on day one….and 3 a.m….anything could happen….bobby kennedy killed on this very day 40 years ago….hmmmm…must get….out….of….bed….I’m a fighter… Bill, get your leg off me….you horny hound…hmmmm….well, been a long time since I got a little….hey, Bill, wake up hound dog. Fcuk the President.

Here we go again…when is Barack finally going to start listening to me…as noted in my April 23 post “Ten Things Barack Could Do…
#1. Drop out of Rev. Wright’s church. An-nounce and pro-nounce that you De-nounce & Re-nounce him again. Join another church that preaches peace, hope, love and all things Christian. Since you lost the Catholic vote in PA so badly, maybe a Catholic Church? (bonus pederast vote!)
You belatedly followed part of my advice about the re-nouncin’..but failed to follow my words of wisdom to quit that crazy church. So now, almost six weeks later you finally come to your senses. Hell, even Oprah dropped out of Trinity United years ago…she knew Rev. Wright was goofy enough to hurt her business. Your business, Mr. Obama, is to get elected President. You want this thing or not? Start acting like it…and start listening to PraaJek.

See Father Pfleger’s pitiful imitation of Black preachers here…that he can get away with such mocking parody…in a Black church of all places, it only short of amazing.

OMG…just when you know she’s dead and buried, the fresh dirt wiggles, whaat, is it moving a leetil biiit.??…o no, wha thaa….lukkks likea finga steeekin uppp…holy sheeet…the fcuking arm is thrustn’ thru the dirt…siccck….it’s a head, helmut doo, cut short round the ears, kinda blondygray and streaked….here comes the otha hand pointing and jabbin, christalmightee the head’s poppped up and spewing mud from the mouth…what’s it saying?…. “…not just a speech…..I’m the best….candidate…I can win….if….you….don’t….bury…me…and my legions of middle-aged wide-assed-pants-suited whiter-than-white-ain’t-had-an-orgasim-in twenty-years-and-fcuk-any-man-who-dares-thrust-his-macho-good-ole-
boys-balls-in my face….we can win…Me….and…BILL.”

Yo, Jonny Driftwood…time for some more advice to enhance your love life:

Do not..repeat…do not buy fuzzy carpeted toliet covers for your new crib…forget about the padded toliet seat, too. You’re not living in mommy’s house anymore. Yo a big boy now.

No Laz-a-Boy recliners. You’re not as old as John McBush.

God planned for food prices to rise world-wide to correct the problem of childhood obesity in the United States.

God planned for America’s children to become obese so that parents could better accept God’s plan for rising food prices.

God smited the people of Myanmar with a cyclone as punishment for changing their country’s name from Burma.

God vented his wrath on the Chinese people by recently shaking the earth killing and injuring thousands as punishment for painting Thomas the Tank toys with lead paint.

God planned for Joe Lieberman not to become VP with Gore so he would later be able to describe me (Rev. Hagee) as “an Ish Elschim..a man of god.”

God planned for Joe Lieberman to defend my statement that God sent Hitler to help Jews reach the promised land as proof that he really does belong in the Republican Party.

Gawd.

Finally. Whewww. Helllaarrry…b-gone. You R So Ova. At last you speak the Clinton Heart. So visible, so transparent your heart, your lust, your unspeakable lust for power. On one hand I feel so sad for you…and Bill. Kinda of how I felt when Nixon gave that pitiful speech to his staff the afternoon before his resignation later that day. Now Barack cannot even offer you the Bitchseat on his Hawg run to the Whitehouse. As Nixon said, Well, you won’t have Hillary to kick around anymore.”

Robert Sylvester Kelly (aka R. Kelly), R&B recording star is on trial for engaging in kiddie porn. Act One, Scene One got underway yesterday in Chicago with the jury watching a 25 min. porn video of allegedly Kelly having lots of non-alleged sex lots of ways with an allegedly 13 year old girl. There’s also lots of real urination acts in addition to the real sex acts. Jurors, with mouths agape, got to/had to watch the tape. Kelly says it’s not him on the tape because he has a mole on his backside which the sexer on the tape apparently lacks. No mole, not R.Kelly in the role, says his lawyers. Stay tuned.

Terry Jordan, of Munfordville, KY and 460,000 fellow ‘Tuckians voted overwhelmingly against Barack Obama tonight. For Jordan, making his choice was easy. “It’s his color,” he said simply, justifying his vote against Obama.

With Hellary’s historic run to be the Democratic nominee to run for President almost at the finish line, but several lengths behind Barack Obama, she runs harder, talks tougher, almost willing herself to win. Almost. Her last desperation self-administered whip lashes against her pants-suited haunches, side to side, whack, whack is actually closing the gap. On a muddied track to Iowa, on the outside came Big Brown, Barack Obama, only occasionally looking back as the field faded from view. Hellary’s recent victorys in Pennsylvania, West by-gawd Virginia and tonight in Kentucky have scraped open the scabs of America racism. Hellary’s declaration of support by “white Americans, hard working Americans…” exposed her blatant appeal to American’s baser instincts. Will it work? If she wins this way, then America and its citizens lose.

Seen alongside I-94 East outside Chicago recently…a new crop of those ubiquitous storage locker sheds that seem to be cropping up faster than Iowa farmers can grow corn for ethanol. “Ye Old Storage Lockers.” I’m disappointed. They left off the “e” at the end of the word “old.”

Through her academy award performance Victory Speech in Charleston, West-By-God-Virginia last night, Hellary is giving her supporters a false hope almost bordering on pure scamming. Give me more money so I can win when what she really is doing is paying down her considerable — $20 million– campaign debt, a lot of that which she loaned herself. The money she raises from here on to the convention in August will benefit her and Bill’s personal bank account. So, support Hellary….help pay off her debts.

1. Hire Tonya Harding

2. Get Down on her knees and pray with McCain’s Rev. Hagee for God to wreck retribution on all those who are not “hard working Americans, white Americans.”

3. Woo a few of the Hamas Superdelegates.

4. Visit a lot more all-white firehouses..uhhh, there b anyotha kind??

5. Get back at Bill by renting a new car at Avis. (see clip here)

6. Enhance your street cred by confessing, like Baba Walters, that you once had an affair with a Black Senator.

7. Appear in American Idol and sing. At least til it’s over.

8. Convince the Dem. Nat’l Committee to change the rules by giving the nomination to the candidate with the fewest delegates.

9. Have Bill give a major speech on race relations. In Kentucky.

10. Be really audacious. Hope.

Standing grim-faced behind Hellary, the senator’s hubby seemed to wipe away a tear at one point during her “celebration” speech in Indiana last night. Even Bill sees that the end is in sight for his quest for a third presidential term. Obama’s big stomping in North Carolina and his near victory in Indiana (Flush Phlegmball’s call to his idiotheads to cause chaos and vote to Hellary might have worked…pushing her over the top) puts the Hope back into his campaign. Will she accept a VP offer from BO? Bill would still have access to many of the hallways in the West Wing for intern hunting and could still be sent as a round-the-world ambassador without portfolio. Well, maybe a just a little one.

Do we really need to know that BaBa Walters once fcuked the (very) late Senator from Mass. Edwin Brook? (was he a Sequoia?) As school girls say, euww…The problem with aging stars (media or film) sharing their younger amorous adventures with the public is that you can’t picture them doing it when they might have been young and nubile, ( Baba once young…neva nubile!) but can only see them in their dotage, wrinkled bosums, nylon donut rolls around ankles akimbo….oh, the humanity. Spare us, Baba.

You think Obama’s Rev. Wright is a hate-filled nutcase, then check out John McCain’s Rev. Hagee….whose endorsement McCain says he’s proud to have. True, McCain wasn’t a member of Hagee’s megachurch in Texas, he sure seems unfairly to be immune to the kind of Reverend-itis that inflicts Obama. Wanna a nasty taste of a McCain-endorsin’ Rev. Hagee Sunday sermon? Politicians used to fear bimbo eruptions…now it’s Pastor eruptions. Check this out:

While on a short sabbatical, PraaJek is relieved to see that Barack finally heeded my advice…see my post of April 23 (Ten Things Barack Could Do…)..to “An-nounce and Pro-nounce that you De-nounce & Re-nounce ..Rev. Wright.. again..and this time with viga…Well, Barack did part of what I advised..but he didn’t drop out of the Rev’s church as I recommended. Nor did he do his re-nouncin’ with any passion…his de-nouncin’ was rather lame…no real heart in it. Kind of with a sadness, aw sheet, I gotta sound angry and outraged but I just can’t do it. So I’ll mouth the words and maybe that’ll be good enuff.

Rev. Wright praised world-class stinker Rev. Farrakhan as a world-class thinker, blamed the U.S. for AIDS, and U.S. foreign policy for 911 and world terrorism. That last one might hold a little water if filtered enough.

The Wright Bruthas, two nuts in a shell game of Race Card will be the number one hit on TV and YouTube this sumer and fall. If Obama fails, to be nominated or elected, his defeat lay at the Wright Bruthas feet.

….where’s the video of this?
Jean Weiss, an 82-year-old woman from North Carolina, has gotten closer to joining an Obama ticket than anyone else to-date.

During a town hall in Wilmington, an exuberant Weiss stood up and received the biggest cheer in the room when she launched into a long speech about all the reasons she supports Obama.

“Don’t hit on Hillary,” Weiss advised, “Bring us all back. Let her do that stuff. Leave her alone, you don’t need to do that. You are higher than that.”

“Will you be my running mate?” Obama answered. “That’s my running mate there, she’s got me fired up!” (ABC News 4/28/08)

Now that’s an ad that could resonate.

Le Ann Womack sang…
“I might hate myself in the morning, but I’m gonna love you tonight.”
Sound like Dem’s infatuation with Barack Obama? Could be…the day after the August Dem convention in Denver. Hear the song here.

Even though Barack Obama came back from 20 pts behind in Pennsylvania’s primary to close to within 10 pts will this loss finally be the crushed ice in Brack’s shorts that it should be? Jonny Driftwood and PraaJek watched the primary last night and came up with 10 things Obama could do if he is serious about finally sending Hellary “Friday 13th- Jason” Clinton to political hell.

1. Drop out of Rev. Wright’s church. An-nounce and pro-nounce that you De-nounce & Re-nounce him again. Join another church that preaches peace, hope, love and all things Christian. Since you lost the Catholic vote in PA so badly, maybe a Catholic Church? (bonus pederast vote!)

2. Show some passion out there. Sure it’s “old-style” politics…but voters want to see you as someone who really cares about the issues they care about.

3. Whatever happened to your eloquence? Get eloquent again…and that does not mean using big words like paradigm. Speak with some rhythm in words that people can hear over and over again like a song they can’t get outta their head.

4. Attack the Clintons. Yeah, admit it. Your kind and lofty “new politics” is not working. Hellary attacks you in the most personal ways…as someone who “just gave a speech,” as one who chooses for a pastor a divisive and old-school race-baiter, as one who doesn’t meet the qualification threshold to become President. (John McCain does, she said…but not you).

5. Attack the Clintons. How does being first lady for eight years qualify you to be President? In In your first term as First Lady, how’d that secret health care task-force work out for you?

6. Attack the Clintons. Yes, Bill. Mitt Romney had it right when he said in one debate, “the thought of Bill Clinton in the White House with nothing to do causes me some concern.” Don’t be afraid to bring up…at least through your surrogates, the Clinton scandals… Bill’s sexual misconduct which got him impeached. That conduct really offended you personally as a Christian and as an American. And Hillary condoned his behavior in exchange for personal ambition.

7. Keep your spouse Michelle as far in the background as possible. She’s a verbal time-bomb.

8. At televised rallies, stagecraft is everything. Don’t have your backdrop audience congested with just Black people. Get a lot of ordinary-looking white people up there behind you. And not those white kids in Abercrombie & Fitch shirts you staged at last night’s defeat speech. Face it, white TV viewers — the majority of voters — like it or not, see you as only as a Black candidate when your supporter backdrop is filled with mostly Blacks. You’ve already got the Black vote…

9. Start huggin’ fat white ladies and beer-bellied old dudes. Fat and white is not contagious.

10. It’s the passion, stupid. Show it. Don’t be so cool and aloof. Get down in the mud with the pig. Yeah, it makes you a pig too, but at least you’re wrestling. Right now you’re getting all muddied just standing around watching.

..Hellary 2 Endorse McCain?

With her chances dwindling by the hours, Hellary continues to figuratively dump the Clinton’s garbage cans on Obama spewing him with rotten fruit, moldy cheese, rancid meat and spoiled milk. Next she’ll do it literally. This is desperation like never before witnessed. It’s desperation…it’s personal, and if she loses the nomination, it’ll be vengeful. Look for Bill and Hell to endorse McCain. If she can’t win, then let the old white geezer nap his way thru four years…and a NEW, IMPROVED Hellary will have emerged, only 64 years old, botoxed, tummy tucked, face lifted to heaven…this time “my precious” will be hers.

You know, when it comes to men, women like a praject…(yo, that’s my name !) ..My moneyman, Jonny Driftwood, is always in need of some of Praajeks’ lady advice. Here my latest for him…and you others like him.

…Lose the flannel sheets. Unless you’re a 12 year-old boy scout or a nongenerian. Do silk. The Ladies love silk. Especially the pillow cases.

…Lose the bar of Ivory soap on the bathroom vanity. Unless you live in the Big House, no one wants to pick up your hairy bar of soap. Get some liquid in a dispenser bottle.

…check back for more Praajek Lady Advice for Jonny Driftwood.

After spending decades keeping his church on the run from public exposure of pedophile priests, Pope Bennie the Mobile motors thru America in his Popemobile this week. Yes, he says, he is now “deeply ashamed” by the actions of pedophile priests. How about expressing deep shame and sorrow for his church’s coverup and denials of those pedo priests who sexually preyed on children. It’s amazing that the Catholic Code of Canon Law forbids a man (of course…not a woman!) from becoming a priest if he (of course, “he” ) has murdered someone, engaged in self-mutilation (huh?) or helped procure an abortion. The Canon Law is silent on buggering children. Ok, Pope Bennie, on this American visit, become Pope Humble the Most, get down on your knees inside your Popemobile and at every stop light on your American tour, beg your flock for forgiveness. And while you’re at it, you might want to add child molesting to your priest disqualification list.

Guns and religion…yo po small town yokels and rubes…gotta cling to to sumpin’ when times are bad. Jobs are gone. E-con-o-mee going south…damn Osama still on the run….those shitite I-Rakees beatin us…but praise the Lord and Pass the ammo fo yo double-barreled. When thangs git bad you jus pack up yur wimmon folk and head to the pews…

hmmm…Mr. Obama better learn from his recent comments and learn quickly. Loosen that tightly knotted tie…lose it even…and when someone offers you a cupa coffee say Thanks Mam’. Don’t say you’d rather have a glass of OJ…real people drink coffee. And learn to give folks a hug…even if they are over-weight white women in a coffee shop…obesity isn’t contagious. Losen up Obama Dude. Yo actin too stiff; aloof, stand-offish…even if that’s your nature…this is politics man…learn to campaign. Git down, brutha.

Hellary’s new PA ad proves yes indeed she was a little girl at one time in her life. In grainy 8mm film, lil’ Hell is handheld down the steps of her country cottage. Rough life had she….she narrates the summer home didn’t even have an indoor shower. Oh, the Humanity ! ” I was raised on “pinochle and the American Dream.” she intones. Not sure that is going to save her from her fate of being euchred by Barack which means running for President could be the Pinochle of her career.

Pleeza Condaleeza

Will John McCain pop the question and say pleezea, Condaleeza…be my…..running mate? What does a McCain-Condi marriage application bring to a wedding party? What about a Obama-Hellary hook-up?

Let’s look at what these two shot-gun engagements might bring to the honeymoon bed:

McCain-Condi ::: Obama-Hellary

White ::: Black
Black ::: White
Male ::: Male
Female (Possibly?)::: Female
Geezer ::: Youth
Middle age::: Middle age

Now…what about voter blocs..? Which couple appeals to which voter group…Let’s break it down:

Mc-Condi:
WalMart Greeter vote
Barely-controlled male rage vote
Civil War enthusiast vote
Single Black women vote
Never married woman vote
Sexually ambiguous vote

Obi-Hell:
Ambiguous smoker vote
Skinny Guy Vote
Irish vote ( O’Bama clan)
Stand by your Cheatin’ Man vote
Women-angry-they-are-of-a certain-age vote
Double-wide pants suite vote

Excited about the new Starbucks coffee blend, Pike Place Roast, that’s being served up by Baristas across the U.S. today? Me neither. But I did try a Grande of it…and was relieved it didn’t smell like the Pike Place Fish Market. Verdict: Subtle and solid. Approachable but not too intimate. Mildly earthy yet not dirty. No hint of that vinegary, acidy taste exhibited by so many Starbuck brews. And best of all… re-heating in a microwave does not bitter it; no taste change. Good stuff, this Pike Place.

Click on pic to enlarge >>

You know, Praajek is starting to feel a little sorry for Hellary. She shouldn’t have to stoop this low. Where’s your dignity girrl? At a campaign event over the weekend in Butte, Montana (yep, 24 delegates at stake…) she assured her audience that “….one thing you know about me is that when I say I’ll stand by you, I’ll stand by you.” Awww, don’t stoop so low Hell…don’t take us with you down your bad memory lanes to Bill’s valleys of infidelities. We know…for better and worse, you stood by yo man in his times of need. Keep this up and you’ll get my pity vote.

Dear Hellary…give it up sista. You’re getting fatter every day..all that negatvity and dissing Obama making you hungry. You’re looking like a michelin dough girl in those wide-bodied pants suits..like an Arkansas double wide on single lane back road. And those chipmonk cheeks …you storin away cream puffs for the winter? Summertime’s coming, girl…what you gonna look like in shorts?
I know, it’s all part of your win-at-all-costs strategy…appealing to those walmart moms pulling heavy rear-end loads down the junk food aisles. Yeah, and drawing those middle-class distinctions between obese-America and that skinny, cool cat, jazzy Obama in his white starched shirts and sleek suits…so graceful, slim and futuristic. They say you Clintons will do anything to win…even joining the majority of the American obese and overweight? What’s next, a new Hellary initiative called “Leave No Child (without a big) Behind.? Go home Hellary…lighten up and get ye burgeoning arse to a Curves and come back after the election a little slimmer and healthier to help Barack pass real health care reform. (Sorry, Hellary, if I sound a bit fatist…perhaps we need a national discussion of fatism.)

Am I watching too much TV? Must be if a certain car ad with a sleazy-voiced woman makes me want to scream. You know it..right? “When you turn your car on…does it return the favor,” she intones breathlessly, as if longing for the gearshift knob. Of course, the sexualization of a machine bothers me…but even more is the fact that damn it, you don’t “turn” a car “on.” Oh, sexy lady behind the wheel, you “start” a car…and you turn on your Hoover, turn on your iron, turn on your washing machine, turn on your oven…but you do NOT turn on you friggin’ car.

Do you have a blue dress, Chelsea?

Check out the Magic Chelsea Eight Ball…click here.

Last week we were treated to the news from the New England Historic Genealogical Society that Barack Obama is related (distantly) to George W. Bush…and Hellary related to Angelina Jolie (Barack again, related to Brad Pitt…). Obama has already joked on the campaign path (we’ve worn out the “trail”) of his Genealogical heritage link to Dikdarth Cheney. Well, Guess What??? Praajek Himself..it has been established .. is a direct descendant (distantly) of none other than the Mr. Numero Uno, the Big O, Mr. Original…the A-Dam himself, Adam. So take that, Obama and Hellary. PraaJek has also contacted G-Soc folk to check out Salamander…you know…the one who crawled outta the sea and started walking on it’s fins…could be a link there.

TaTA Rover

Hey, you tough jungle-macheting range-rovering SUV city safarites in pursuit of jaguars…your Range Rover/Jaguar brand is now owned by the company that makes the cheapest car in the world..the Nano by Tata Motors of India. Last week Tata purchased Land Rover and Jaguar from big-foot Ford Motors. Awww, sounds so cute, Tata Rover.

Fired ( by Dickdarth Cheney) former Secretary of the Treasury, Paul O’Neill, in Sunday’s NY Times Magazine when asked:
It’s so hard to understand how the subprime mortgage crisis has triggered a financial crisis of global proportions.

O’Neill’s answer: If you have 10 bottles of water, and one bottle had poison in it, and you didn’t know which one, you probably wouldn’t drink out of any of the 10 bottles; that’s basically what we’ve got there.

Don’t forget Earth Hour. Tonight you’re supposed to turn off all lights from 8-9 p.m. (CST)…to stop global warming or something. PraaJek will do his part…and not fart for a whole hour from 8-9 p.m. Or as they say in Sierra Leone, Ah noh pull baad breez. Human and bovine flatulence is a major contributor to global warming. Prepare for other symbolic anti-global-______Days to come:

Girth Hour..every one suck in their bellys for one hour to reduce Global Girth.

Birth Hour…all delivering moms hold it for one hour to reduce Global birth rates.

Mirth Hour…everyone tell jokes and giggle for one hour to increase Global Humor.

Worth Hour…everyone count up your net worth for one hour to help combat Global Poverty.

Dearth Hour.. everyone go out and consume, buy and fill every want for one hour to combat Global Famine, Scarcity and Need. Hey…It’s Dearth Hour every hour in America.

Praajek recommends::::Check out this (click here) YouTube video interview with Chef Pierre Glardon, chef extraordiannaire and owner with lovely spouse Dina of the (click here) Rutledge Inn in Rutledge, GA. Pierre, from France via Chicago-area prepares the most exquisite French-American- Southern fare…if ever traveling in the South you must visit Pierre and Dina and sample his culinary artistry.

You thought Snakes (in a tube) on a Plane was goofy…wait til you see “Teeth” (only an R rating..for sex, drugs, language and violence..hey, it’s got it all). Teeth is about vaginal dentata. I know, you’re saying…”not another film about toothy vaginas…”. Fraid so. Teen girl preaches abstinence to her school peers only to finally succumb in the end to a cute guy’s persuasive pleasure pleas to fill her cavity. Brace yourself for the horror of (F)Buck Teeth. Ouch. Gives new meaning to stimulating your gums with an electric toothbrush. For this girl, (too bad screenwriters didn’t name her Monica) all sex is oral..so like former Prez Bill Clint you could finger wag and say “I neva had sex with that women”…..and now I’m neva gonna have sex with anyone eva again.

Latest from the Department of “Faathaland” Security: quarantine is so 14th Century…
new term in case of plague or Avian flu or terrorist pandemics…”Social Distancing.”

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
• •
• •
• •
• •
• •
• •
• •
• •
• •
• •
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“The President carries the biggest burden, obviously,” said DarthDick Cheney when asked his reaction to 4,000 American deaths in Iraq. Well, after 4,000 American deaths, 10s of thousands of Americans maimed, 10s of thousands of Iraqi men, women and children dead and injured…we would hope Bush has had at least a few restless nights of sleep. The burden….oh, the burden.

• Flood waters will begin to recede somewhere

• North Carolina will survive another week in the NCAA tournament

• Bush will utter something unintelligible about staying the
course in Iraq.

• Hellary will assert robotically that she is ready for Day One at
3 a.m.

• McCain will address a group of total strangers as “My Friends.”

• Rightwing radio drugaddict Flush Phlegmball will cough up an
incredibly stupid hairball of a remark.

• Bill Clinton will wag his Monica Finger at someone.

How about that other national dialogue/conversation…the one on Gender? If you view any amount of TV programming you have to be amazed at how males are depicted..(in advertising mostly, but also in programming)…as total dickhead idiots..always the goofy bumpkin..obsessing over flatscreen TVs, cable TV, satellite dishes, cars and beer..dancing arm swinging simian-style in front of TV football games often while wifey or girlfriend stands in the background arms folded, wry smile on face, tsk tsk tsking or winking in a “yes I know he’s an idiot…but…” smirking with an all-knowing head shaking that says “don’t worry, I’ll take care of it..you big fucking idiot..”

Of course the way Bill Clinton’s screwing up Hellary’s campaign with his MaCarthesque statments about Obama’s patriotism, maybe TV is just reflecting reality.

This just in…easy cure for CTS…Crapal Tunnel Syndrome: Cease Gerbiling Immediately.

Since we’re having a national conversation on race these days, could one say that Barack Obama…father Kenyan…mother Kansan..is sort of a hybrid? Which really makes him our first Green candidate.

…and blogged out…sorry fans….blogged out…tune in tomorrow…

Obama is…..

Left-handed…That’s right…he’s left-handed. What could this mean? What could this mean?

Was Karl Rove doing a little Opposition Research…nosing into Obama’s state-department passport files…on three different occasions. Were any of those state department contract employees wearing a red wig? Hmmmm…..

Happy 5th Birthday Iraq War…remember Operation Enduring Freedom…or some bullshit slogan like that…enduring indeed. I think it’s time to look back, sit back and listen to PraaJek’s good old rant dedicated to all things Enduring…

Click Here to listen to: Jis Lissen, one of PraaJek’s greatest (s)hits…

Like me, you lookin 4ward to that John McCain Perpetual 100 Years O’ War?

I’ve just read Barack Obama’s speech today in Philly about race and religion. I’m thinking: should or could this be the speech that he gives and then bows out of the presidential nomination race? Or should/could it be the speech that makes it necessary for him to continue. In simple, unemotional language Barack Obama outlined the origins and history of the racial divide in America. It’s not complicated. It’s just that few, on the public national stage, have ever tried to even attempted to explain this complex chasm. The feelings rarely expressed or given voice outside of outbursts of anger, frustration or intimate family and friend discussions…the hurts and grievances harbored by both blacks and whites…the stain of slavery that cannot be cleansed; the resentments of whites who don’t feel they should recompense for ancestral sins; the resentments induced by welfare, affirmative action, busing, crime. What precipitated this speech of course was his pastor’s recently publicized campaign-paralyzing roadside bomb utterances spit from the pulpit. That’s how most whites react to them. But not Rev. Wright’s congregation…who are inured of this type of holy hyperbole..it’s part of the black church experience says Obama…singing, stomping, shouting, exaggerating; not always coherently but always with passion and a bow toward theatre. A passion and theatre born of a feeling of freedom..a feeling of safety…here in this church I can finally speak my mind….without fear. Sometimes it’s emotional and moving, prayerful, poetic and political; sometimes it cathartic and full of venom and bile and just has to be spit out. When I first saw Rev. Wright’s video clips I said to myself…crap…I’m voting for Hillary. After reading O’s speech today I think I have to think a lot more about a lot of things.

Prayer for Economic Stim-ul-us

Lord have mercy on the credit mongers
the Fed Wizard’s wings no longer
Span green across the nation’s
Fortune elite
Don’t let prime-rated mortgage meat
And recalled droppings soon be rations.

Lord have economic mercy
on us
By George slay our recession dragon
We depleted the evil
surplus
Iraq attack still causes pain
So stimulate us with rebate feathers
tickle us where darkness reigns
whip us to a frothy heather
keep our consumer tails a’waggin
And our economy from saggin.

Ohhhh…man.

The sign above the coffee grinder in the grocery store says:
do not regrind coffee.
I’m comforted by this sign.
I won’t regrind my coffee.

Barack’s Rev. Wrong

A lot of folks in Chicago knew this was coming. Most Black Chicagoans know about Rev. Jeremiah Wright…and his penchant for fire-breathing blasts of hyperbolic carbonic acid-laced ejaculations; more like soda-pop for Black audiences and sulfuric for White ears which know little of him. His “god damn..not god bless America” utterances will make great B-Roll for future John McCain ads this Fall. Does Obama need to do more than recite the 3-R’s: Renounc’n, Reject’n Repudiat’n ? Maybe Resign’n from the Trinity United Church ? McCain of course has his McNut job preacher supporters such as PastorJohn Hagee and Rev. Rod Parsley…his not so sage spiritual mega-church mentor who says America has a constitutional mandate to destroy Islam.
Gotta love these preachers…preachin’ Christian values of love yet screaming hate, war and vengence. Hmmm…smells like Christianity?

American Spitzer
You gotta read today’s David Brook’s take on American Spitzer Guys…he’s nailed it: click on Title: American Spitzer above.

It’s here…
PraaJek’s latest rant: Runnin 4 Prezident…
download it here

Hellary

Hellary, Hellary, Hellary…what are we going to do with you…you’ve suddenly realized that you could lose this thing… this nomination..which rightly belongs to you…(whoever gets it is almost a shoe-in to become the next Prez..right?)..how could you not get this which is YOURS…hold you breath, twist your stomach in knots…this can’t be happening..who is this Black Barrack kid whose trying to take your toy away…this not-ready-on-day-one Black Kid (did you mention he’s Black?) who hasn’t won any BIG states (except Illinois) who has a bunch of those yucky “caucus” delegates…not the real tastey voter-primary delegates like you have…waaaa. so damn mad you could spit…throw the kitchen sink at him…hell..throw the toilet too. Not… losing…. this…. thing, damnit!

Politics is the art of consensus. Succeed by pleasing the maximum… or at least the majority. Eliot Spitzer apparently didn’t play by that maxim bullying and steamrolling, condemning and avenging in the name of right and wrong. What a great character…the political landscape is poorer without him. And his wife Silda…great name… isn’t she a dead-ringer for the future face of a 50 yr. old Jennifer Anniston. I admit it..wallowing in the purience of Spitzer’s woes. Show me the hooker. Ashley Alexandra Dupre…such a sweet girl..and a singer, too..check out her song…here “What we want” …refain sings “…can you handle me..?” Hmmm. As Larry “Wide Stance” Craig says, “you a naughty boy.” Spitz.