Open Letter to Hellary

Dear Hellary…give it up sista. You’re getting fatter every day..all that negatvity and dissing Obama making you hungry. You’re looking like a michelin dough girl in those wide-bodied pants suits..like an Arkansas double wide on single lane back road. And those chipmonk cheeks …you storin away cream puffs for the winter? Summertime’s coming, girl…what you gonna look like in shorts?
I know, it’s all part of your win-at-all-costs strategy…appealing to those walmart moms pulling heavy rear-end loads down the junk food aisles. Yeah, and drawing those middle-class distinctions between obese-America and that skinny, cool cat, jazzy Obama in his white starched shirts and sleek suits…so graceful, slim and futuristic. They say you Clintons will do anything to win…even joining the majority of the American obese and overweight? What’s next, a new Hellary initiative called “Leave No Child (without a big) Behind.? Go home Hellary…lighten up and get ye burgeoning arse to a Curves and come back after the election a little slimmer and healthier to help Barack pass real health care reform. (Sorry, Hellary, if I sound a bit fatist…perhaps we need a national discussion of fatism.)