This little piece has been circulating around the net the past few weeks…even showed up in my email inbox…too good not to keep circulating:
I’m a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight: If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you’re “exotic”, “different.”
BUT Grow up in Alaska eating moose burgers, yours is a quintessential American story.
If your name is Barack you’re a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.
BUT Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, and you’re a maverick.
Graduate from Harvard law School, you are unstable.
BUT Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you’re well grounded.
If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a state senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment, Public Works, and Veteran’s Affairs committees, you don’t have any real leadership experience.
BUT If your total resume is: Local sports reporter, 4 years on the city council, 6 years as mayor of a town of approximately 5,000 people, 20 months as governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you’re qualified to become the country’s second-highest ranking executive.
If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you’re not a real Christian.
BUT If you cheated on your wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you’re a Christian.
If you teach responsible, age-appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.
BUT If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state’s school system, while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you’re very responsible.
If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family’s values don’t represent America’s.
BUT If you’re husband is nicknamed “First Dude”, with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn’t register to vote until age 25, and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.
OK, much clearer now.
Published by Lawrence Rudmann
Multi-genre comedic political poet and trender/periscoper of what's around the corner.
Avid tennis player and ukulele strummer. Comedic poetry stimulator and healer.
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1 thought on “"Let Me See If I Have This Straight"”
after watching the katie couric interview with mooseburger palin god save our country should Mccain get elected.