Sarah’s emails

OMG….Just got my hands on these hacked emails from Sarah “The Pain” Palin’s “Sent Folder”….they were all sent before her selection as potential president of the United States… I think they shed a lot of light on her presidential decision-making and ability to lead as the most powerful person in the world.

To: First Dude

Subject: Bro-in-Law

Pleeese, pleeese, FD, that good fur nothin’ brotha-in-law is still roamin’ the streets of Juneau. I want his buckskin bottom buckshot and field dressed. Do it now…honey…specially if you ever want any more Gubernatorial booty!!

To: First Dude

Subject: What Brown Can Do Fur You

Goddmit, FD, you lazy moose turd, if I tole you once I tole you hunnerd times to git your ass over to Walmart and get me that there tanning bed I saw last weekend. If I have to face my Alaskans one more day with this pale white, yet firm and nubile bod, I’m gonna take a snowshoe and kick it up your sorry half Eskimo-ass ass. Now move it FD !! specially if you ever again want to see my tanned, smooth legs akimbo around your skinny ass.

To: First Dude

Subject: You Sorry-Ass Fucker

Well, shitfire, FD….some babysitter you are!! Here I sit in a goddam cosmopolitan city for a guvernor meeting and you go and take Bristol and and her friends to the Juneau Cinema to see that god-blesseded movie Juno…you know I love movies where the girl rejects abortion, but I think that Bristol might get the wrong idea and go and get hersef PG…ever think of that dumbshit? All I can say if she gets knockedup it’s your goddamm fault, FD..and you know it !! Look what happened last year when you let Willow go see that Knocked Up movie…I’m telling you I will not, repeat, I will not pretend to be pregnant again !!! And if I do have to, you know what you can do with that popeils pocket fishing pole of yours !!!!!