1. Hire Tonya Harding
2. Get Down on her knees and pray with McCain’s Rev. Hagee for God to wreck retribution on all those who are not “hard working Americans, white Americans.”
3. Woo a few of the Hamas Superdelegates.
4. Visit a lot more all-white firehouses..uhhh, there b anyotha kind??
5. Get back at Bill by renting a new car at Avis. (see clip here)
6. Enhance your street cred by confessing, like Baba Walters, that you once had an affair with a Black Senator.
7. Appear in American Idol and sing. At least til it’s over.
8. Convince the Dem. Nat’l Committee to change the rules by giving the nomination to the candidate with the fewest delegates.
9. Have Bill give a major speech on race relations. In Kentucky.
10. Be really audacious. Hope.