Category: Obama

Donald Trump President Obama’s Secret Half Brother?

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Why is Donald Trump pursuing the illegitimization of Barack Obama as President of the United States? Is Trump’s recent conversion as a “Birther” challenging Obama’s place of birth a pretense to cover up what could be the REAL TRUTH? Is Trump, who was born in 1946 to real estate tycoon Fred Trump, hiding the existence of INCREDIBLE AND FANTASTIC SECRET documents possibly hidden in an underground safe below the Trump Village Coney Island housing complex?  Are there rumors that these INCREDIBLE SECRET AND FANTASTIC documents reveal the HIDDEN TRUTH about Donald Trump’s relationship to the President of the United States? Was Obama, born in 1961, actually the offspring not of a Kenyan “Mau Mau” father as ex Governor Mike Huckabee alleges, but the progeny of a SECRET relationship with a Trump household African-American (Son Trump himself states that he has always had good relationships with “The Blacks.”) employee and maybe The Donald’s Federally-funded (FHA) real estate tycoon father?  Did the elder Trump bring this POSSIBLY EXISTING child, whom he perhaps named Barry, into the Trump family perhaps causing great jealousy and resentment from the then-15 year-old coddled Donald?  Did this lead to the elder Trump maybe taking the baby Barry to Hawaii and maybe hiring a woman who would adopt him and create a Kenyan father ruse biography that exists today? A lot of questions that Donald Trump needs to answer. What is the SHOCKING TRUTH that he could he be HIDING? 

Watch The Amazing ObaGumby Bend Over….again.

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The Amazing Folding Man, President Obama, is about to display his contortionist abilities as he reprises one of his best cave-ins and fold-ins upon himself and his political supporters on a nation-wide stage. The President savors opportunities to show off his spine bending feats, as he has done so frequently during his term.  Some of his most famous political death-applying (for Democrats) acts will someday be memorialized in a special ObaGumby Memorial Statue in the Softee Freeze Hall of Fame. Remember his amazing “Reach Across the Aisle” maneuvers during his first two years culminating in an invitation to Reboobs to join him for dinner last Fall which they rejected because they were busy preparing more tax cuts for the rich? Remember the Health Care Reform Bend Over?”  Wow, what a show as Mr. Obama bent over backwards to accommodate Repoobs’ insistence on a plan that would continue to enrich Big Pharma and Big Insurance. Executed perfectly. And how could we forget his most Houdini-like escape from defeating the extension of the Bush tax cuts. That nifty sleight-of- hand negotiation that left us head-scratching and incredulous saw the Maestro give the Repoobs everything they asked for including extending nearly $700 Billion tax cuts for the wealthy top two percent of American earners. Now the Repoobs want to negotiate the 2011 budget by insisting on about $30 billion in cuts. Obama countered with $31 Billion. Sensing that the Great Folder could outdo his recent feats, the Repoobs then countered again with $73 billion in cuts only to contain giggles as the President negotiated by agreeing to $73 billion in cuts. Wow, can this guy negotiate. Let’s Make a Deal, said the Repoobs. $73 billion is not enough. We want more. And more. Will Mr. Obagumby say that he’s got’em right where he wants ’em and give more and more? We await, on the edge of our chairs for his next…maybe a triple inside-out pretzel bend-over culminating with both hands extended through his crossed legs presenting the Repoobs a silver tray with the entire federal budget (sans military) neatly stacked, counted and ready for stuffing in the pockets of the Bigs everywhere. 

Merry Xmas, Mr. Bigbucks

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The warm glow of the holiday season permeates this week, one in which we saw President Obama live up to the true Xmas spirit of  “It’s better to give than receive.” In announcing his “compromise” with Mitch McConnell and John Boehner, agreeing to give big New Year Bonuses to the nation’s wealthiest, our President certainly gave a lot more than he received. MillyBillyaires get two years of big tax cuts worth at least $40,000 a year (average is nearly $70,000) while the newly unemployed are available for up to 13 months of benefits worth about $300 a week. Such a deal!  The tax cuts for the rich will require the U.S. to borrow from China and Saudi Arabia up to a trillion dollars. Take that, Mr. Deficit !  President Obama says this is not a “short game” but  a “long game” explaining his strategy to accept small incremental gains (e.g. health care reform) in pursuit of longer-ranged goals. What he doesn’t seem to realize or to acknowledge is that the “game” did not kick off the day he was inaugurated two years ago. The Repoobs kicked off this game more than 30 years ago, pushing forward their return-to-the-Confederacy, take America Back (to the 18th century) game plan that now gives them red zone field position near the Democrat’s goal line. (sorry for the stupid sports metaphors, but Obama started it). Given the situation, with Repoobs ready to take over the House and dominate the Senate with their minority, Obama sees his capitulation as they pragmatic way out. Always pragmatism. Never standing firm, drawing the line and defending it, fighting for it. Maybe it’s time to discuss 2012 options.

Obama Chia Cojones

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Remember the Chia Obama from a few years back. Back when our President wasn’t President, when he spoke boldly of Hope, Change…you are the change, he said. Guess we didn’t listen close enough. He clearly did mean, you are the change. Not him. Because not much has changed, especially when it comes to who is running the Big Show. Repoobs, fresh from their Midterm application of shellac are bolder than ever. Following this week’s mini-summit at the White House, Repoob leaders Boehner and McConnell emerged with with their pretend faces grim as they lip-synched their Obama-facetime as “a nice meeting.” Obama himself, strode jauntily to the podium and announced a new era of compromise and cooperation. Looking thinner than ever, he had the look of a man who had just been pick-pocketed, realizing the futility of chasing the robbers sucks it up and says, oh well, I didn’t really need my wrist watch, wallet and car keys anyway. And besides, those muggers looked hungry.

True to form, the rustlers showed up the next day flaunting their booty and demanding even more. Nothing will get done until our millionaires get their average $80.000 a year tax break, said McConnell. Nothing. If that’s Obama’s definition of Compromise and Cooperation then I have a new holiday gift to add to your list: Obama Chia Cojones. Just sprinkle with a little spinal fluid and they grow fig leafs to cover their minuscularity.

Obama Thanks Republicans for Dissing Him

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Calling the recent Republican rejection of his invitation to have dinner with him at the White House this week a pleasant surprise, President Obama promised to re-invite the Rude Repoobs as soon as possible. “This time I’ll be a bit more solicitous…and perhaps not so presumptive that an invitation from the President of the United States would be met with friendly acceptance and appreciation. My bad,” the President said. Republican leaders John Boehner and Mitch McConnell reportedly felt that the dinner menu, which included cheese burgers, American fries/onion rings and Slurpees was too elitist. “Typical Democrat fare..how about something for the Common Man, and what the heck’s wrong with a little Merlot, huh?” said Boehner. 

The Republican Leadership did agree to meet with the White House Chief of Janitorial Services (COJ) to discuss efforts to reduce spending on cleaning services in the President’s personal residence rooms of the White House. 

“Does the so-called “First” Family really need their sheets changed every week?” asked McConnell at a weekly press gaggle in the Oval Office, which the President makes available to the Repubicans for business duties on an as-needed bi-partisan basis. 

Flicking his cigarette ash on the President’s new Oval Office carpet, Boehner reiterated “American taxpayers need to know that their hard-earned money is not going down the drain to pay for extra SoftScrub and Sani-Flush for all those bathrooms in the  White House. We’re drawing a line in the dust on this issue,” he said.

In response, President Obama said if the Republicans approved he would discuss personal White House sanitary and cleaning cost escalations with the COJ toward an effort to reduce expenses and please the Republican leaders.

The President also apologized to the Republicans for his recent “uppity” behavior and promised to act in a more bi-partisan manner in order to heed to the wishes of the American electorate who elected him President in 2008. 

Boehner responded by urging the President to order some Pentagon-grade ash trays for their Oval Office.

Chambre of Kommerce…Where’s the Love?

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                                                      Reuters photo by Jason Reed

Are these Indian businessmen members of the International Chamber of Commerce (ICC)? Probably not gauging from the expressions of awe, wonderment and pure joy on their faces while greeting President Obama during a speech on his recent India trip. Obama must wonder why expressions on U.S. businessmen might not be similar. Especially after he bailed out Wall Street and Big Banking, essentially keeping their supersized padded wallets protruding from their bailed-out flannel suit pockets. Why can’t Obama ask the old Mae West-like question, “Is that a fat wallet in your pocket or are you glad to see me? ” 

Of Tea Bags and Slurpees…

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Fun time returns. Yes, it’s boring when the enemy is vanquished. Power breeds less discontent than apathy. It’s been painfully dull the past two years of Obama-Democratic lethargy and timidness; their masochistic need to be bullied by the No-nothing Do-nothing Repoobs. How many times can we implore Obama to “stand-up and fight?” Just when you think he’s about to channel his inner Harry Truman he slinks away, tail between legs muttering his Oomm-like reach-across-the-aisle mantra “com…pro…mise….com…pro…mise… The man will never change. In a recent New York Times interview, Northwestern University prof and historian Gary Wills notes that Obama, coming from both Black and White cultures has had to accommodate and compromise all his life to survive. It’s ingrained in his personality DNA. He’s not a fighter and never will be. I knew we were in trouble when shortly after becoming President he abandoned basketball and took up golf, the ultimate non-confrontational, self-competing (and defeating) hobby-sport ever devised by man. A gentleman’s game, hands are clean, no sweating just fretting. Hit the little ball in the little hole. How sweet. 
So, here we are. Two years later. Yes, a watered-down health care law (hey, better than nothing), some weak Wall Street banking financial reform (hey, better than nothing), a weak stimulus (hey, better than nothing) that actually saved and created a lot of jobs and reduced taxes although Obama decided in his own inimitable low-key good-government manner not to  spend anything telling people about it. When Bush/Rove cut taxes they sent everyone a letter saying a check was on the way…and then followed-up with a real check in the mail. Wow, look what President Bush did for me. Maybe President Obama’s new campaign motto should be “Better than Nothing.” Because that’s what we face for the next two years from Brutha Boehner and Blob Fish Mitch McConnell. 
But hey…it’s fun time again. Now we have some real visible foils to have fun with. Besides Boehner and Blobby, there’s Minnesota’s Michele “Hypno-Eyes” Bachman, Tennessee’s Rand “Aqua Buddha” Paul, South Carolina’s Jim “No Boyfriend Sex 4 Single Female Teachers” DeMint; and the Mama Grizzlie herself  “UBetcha Winky-wink.  Missed sorely will be Alaska’s  Joe “We Hardly Knew Ye” Miller, Delaware’s Christine “Not A Witch” O’Donnell and Nevada’s Sharron “Don’t Vote U Hispanics Besides U Look Asian 2 Me” Angle. Strange brew, those Tea Baggers. 
Time to get back to the fun stuff.

An Obama Mulligan

Lawrence Rudmann1 Comment

In golf it’s called a mulligan…a do-over.  President Obama needs to take a mulligan on his Presidency. Just one year later to the day, his presidency is in shambles. Most U.S. President’s have to wait until their second year, the mid-term elections, to get their “come-uppence.” With the election of right-wingnut Scott Brown to the U.S. Senate in the most liberal state in the country, Massachusetts, the President now stands naked, shorn of the glitter and hope that showered the country just one year ago. Maybe this is finally the change he can believe in. He’d better believe it. And start over. His legislative agenda has been shredded. Health care, his signature bill, is now illegible, the ink so smeared it will never be read again. Other initiatives like cap and trade…are capped and faded. What else has he done during his first year. A cute dog, a Nobel Prize. A surge of war in Afghanistan. Whew. Now is the time to admit, to submit, to sit down in the early morning light and make some hard admissions. In his State of the Union Message coming up soon, it’s time to ‘fess up, yo.” Number One: Roll some heads. Starting with Rahm Emanuel and Tim Geithner. Throw in Larry Summers. Bring in Howard Dean, a real Democrat to prod you in the cajones once in a while, remind you that reaching across the aisle will only get your hand bit off. That the Repooblicans’ scorched-earth strategy of opposing everything and anything, from Obama going to bed at night and waking in the morning,  is real and effective. Obama needs to man-up. First thing to do, besides rolling some heads, move the Senate to eliminate the supermajority rule. The Consitution only requires a simple majority, 51 votes. In this blog for months I’ve been telling Obama to take the gloves off. Since it now looks as if he never even put those gloves on in the first place, it’s time to put them on, throw a few punches and then take’em off. Bare knuckles. He knows how that feels. Repoobs have been bare-knuckle-bloodying him since Jan. 20 of last year.

The Middle Man

Lawrence Rudmann2 Comments

Remember the old Beatles’s song “Nowhere Man?” Our bold “Campaign Obama” has morphed into a real “Middle Man.” In health care reform, he’s let the rightwingnuts dictate the conversation (shouting match) and America will be lucky to get a watered-down health care bill, one that will have insurance executives guffawing and salivating all the way to their offshore bonus-infused banks. In Afghanistan, the Generals are licking their blood-thirsty lips for more vampire-fodder; Gen. McChrystal’s Ball at first saw the need for 20,000 additional troops, then when he detected Administration and Congressional hesitation, foresaw the need for 40,000; and now with Joe Biden’s honest assessment of American futility in that stone-age land, the General is saying he’ll need 80,000 additional troops for what Obama has described as our “war of necessity.” WWII….a war or necessity, but Afghanistan? I don’t think even Bush ever described Iraq in such unequivocal terms. Why is Obama even taking so long to come to a decision on McChrystal’s future blood needs if this is a “war of necessity.” Hell, if so, then let’s ramp up America WWII-style and bomb Afghanistan back to the stone age. Oh, yeah, it’s already that.

Obama is quietly and regrettably dissolving into an amorphous decision-making blob. The “Decider” he ain’t. More and more he straddles the middle of the road, seemingly unwilling to offend, always seeking affirmation disguised as bipartisanship. To paraphrase old Texan democrat Jim Hightower, the only things you’ll find in the middle of the road are yellow lines and dead skunks. As they say, (this phrase is a candidate for most overused cliche of 2009), Mr. Obama, “grow a pair.” If you do, at least you should be happy that they’ll be right where you like them: in the middle.

With apologies to the Beatles…just substitute Middle, for Nowhere…like this:
He’s a real middle man,
Sitting in his Middle Land,
Making all his middle plans
for middletons.

Doesn’t have a point of view,
Knows not where he’s going to,
Isn’t he a bit like you and me?
(hell, No!)

Middle Man, please listen,
You don’t know what you’re missing,
Middle Man, the world is at your command!

He’s as blind as he can be,
Just sees what everyone wants to see,
Middle Man can you see me at all?

Middle Man, don’t worry,
Take your time, don’t hurry,
Leave it all till somebody else
lends you a hand!

Making all his Middle plans
for nobody.
Making all his Middle plans
for nobody!