That women get judged on their looks and appearance more than men is a given. It’s not right to judge a person by one’s visceral reaction to appearance, demeanor and other subjectives such as voice, height, hair style, eyes and the overall qualities that comprise what we generally consider as “looks.” I know it’s not right. Yet why do I have such a strong visceral (from “viscera”….intestines, bowels, gut; from instinct rather than intellect) negative reaction to Ted Cruz, the smarmy (totally subjective, sorry) candidate for the republican presidential nomination? His high-pitched voice perfects onomatopoeically the whine of a dentist drill with all its associated shudder and vagus-nerve inducing nausea and clammy coldness. His hunched shoulders and thrusting head produces a badgering mien threatening to cower his audience into submission. Behind a podium, he leans his skewed mis-aligned angley face downward doggedly in sarcastic towering arrogance belying his 5ft-7inch stature and with deft yet programmed hands gestures robotically in sync with sad disapproving basset hound-of-hell eyes casting damnation on all who fail to heed his admonitions. This is Ted Cruz. The slick pompadour hair harkens to a past era, a carnival barker, a Fuller Brush salesman? Under stage lights his skin reflects a pallid smeary corpse-like patina, waxen.
The curled upper lip snarls and scolds disdainfully giving purchase to a poisonous pedantic piety from a Puritan pursed mouth proclaiming peevish punishment for all who disagree.
And yet I question my intense reactions to Mr. Cruz’s physicalities. It’s not that he has, according to current standards of what constitutes beauty/attractiveness, an “ugly” countenance. But there is some intangible aggregate of his overall appearance and how he wears and utilizes these physical attributes that sends up warning signs. Empty this sack full of pain and fill it with the heart and soul of Bernie Sanders. How would I react? Bernie has a rough and worn appearance that may cause cringing, weeping and gnashing of teeth in those who disagree with him. But it seems that beyond Cruz’s stated policies, his proclaimed beliefs, his political philosophy there lies something uncomfortable, dark and on the threshold of….evil? I know it’s not right to judge him on how he looks. But could this visage be a mirror of his soul or spirit, his very essence and intended purpose on earth? I don’t know. But what I do know is this person scares me. To the point where I have to admit that given a choice between Mr. Cruz and Donald Trump (please gods, spare us from such a choice) I would have to choose Trump. Cruz, I admit, is smart, very smart and probably the best diabolical debater among all candidates. He has a plan, and is executing it demonically. Be afraid. Very afraid, something tells me.
Each year we are treated to new album releases by assorted artists – popular and has-been – rendering their versions of Christmas and Holiday carols. One of my favorites is Bob Dylan‘s “Xmas in the Heart” in which he croons, gristles, groans and chews up holiday traditionals such as “O Come All Ye Faithful” and “Silent Night.” It’s quite a feat and for me at least a real Christmas treat. Another seasonal favo is “Just Say Noël,” which includes my special holiday favo by “Sonic Youth, “Santa Doesn’t Cop Out on Dope,” and “Millie Pulled a Pistol on Santa” by The Roots. “Jingle All the Way” by Crash Test Dummies is also a heart & hearth-warming collection of holiday sentimentals.
So this year I would love to see and hear some new offerings such as:
Bill Maher’s “An Atheist’s Xmas” on which he sings “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen…gay marriage is finally legal.” And “While Shepherds Watched…Yeah they like to watch” would be on my iTunes Xmas playlist.
Bill Clinton’s “Xmas with a Boner” including his just released hit song, “Joseph did not have sex with that Woman” and of course his saxophone rendition of “BlueXmas” would enlarge his legacy.
Donald Trump’s “The Biggest Best & Hugest Xmas” featuring his holiday hit, “No One Does Xmas Better Than Me,” and “Trump Pumpa Trump Trumps the Little Immigrant Boy” and “Away.. (far far away from America,) In a Manger” could push him even higher in the polls.
Bernie Sanders‘ “Have Yourself a Communal Little Socialist Xmas” featuring “Rudolph the Red Commie Reindeer” would be a favo of mine.
Hillary’s Xmas Dishes album includes her never-before released and destined-to-become-a-seasonal classic, “Bill’s Nuts Roasting on an Open Fire” would be a family hit in my household.
And speaking of open fire, the Chicago Police Department Xmas Choir gets us into the spirit of the season with the hauntingly moving “Oh come on keep mum Rahm Emmanuel,” segueing to a celebratory “Silent Nights & Silent Days helps Good King Winsalot of elections.”
Merry Xhristmas y’all.
On Day One….first day in office..
What WILL they do…..
A common meme among Presidential aspirants is to announce to prospective supporters the number one thing he or she will do on DAY ONE, immediately following the last utterance of the last syllable of the oath of office. “….so help me goddd….and now I now proclaim that all children over the age of 5 be indentured to serve out their childhood fulfilling Prime Now orders in Amazon warehouses across this great nation… Oh, and yeah, I just killed Obamacare.”
Telling voters what you will do on Day One if elected to sleep in the White House is an act of extreme pandering that has become almost a campaign obligation like appearing in rolled-up shirtsleeves standing on a bale of hay in mega church singing gawd bless America. So to supplement the already Day One promises I suggest the following for the current crop of clown candidates.
Donald “The Rumpus” Trumpus: his first day is already full with building that 1,954 mile-long wall between the U.S. and Mexico. But what Trump and his supporters (Trumportors) are really looking forward to on Day One will be the issuance of his one-to-ten rankings list of supermodels. His recent preview ranking of Heidi Klum as less than a “10” …. was just what the nation needed during our summer of discontent.
Ted (Count Chocula) Cruz: Day One will also be the Last Day as he will announce the official shutting down of the U. S. Government.
Rand “Curly” Paul: That curly mop will see not another day as Prez Paul gets a Brazilian Blowout hair-straightening treatment on Day One.
Lindsey “Sweetheart” Graham: On Day One Prezzy Lindsey promises to reveal who he has met on the dating site “CongressWithMe” to join him as his FLOTUS.
Rick “Oops” Perry: Prez Perry is looking forward thru his new genius glasses to finally on Day One …..”doing sumthang…uh, uh, open up a can of oop ass?”
Jeb “Mama’s Boy” Bush: Day One of his return of the Dynasty to the Throne, Jebsonofabush will stick the head of Saadam Hussain on the White House fence. Saadam’s head has been lovingly cared for by Dick Cheney in his Wyoming bunker since his execution in 2003. “This one’s for you Mommy,” Jeb’ll say.
Mike “Fat Again” Huckabee: And on The First Day, President Huckabee, author of his biblical best seller “God, Guns, Grits & Gravy“ will conjur the wrath of God, the death of Guns, the whiteness of Grits and the grease of Gravy to require all Demon-crats to pack open-carry heat and dine at Cracker Barrel, Chick fil’A , Pizza Hut and Waffle House.
Carly “InkJet” Fiorina: The first U.S.
trans-gender woman President, Prez Fiorina issues a blanket pardon on Day One to all manufacturers of ink jet printers for the crime of charging customers $8,000 per gallon ($32/half ounce) for ink refills. In a sign of bipartisanship she also rescinds her campaign promise to run the U.S. government like she did Hewlet Packard.
James C. Mitchell
K. Ross Newland
Hillary “The Rodham” Clinton: What a Day One! Been waiting for this one a long time. Ahhhh. Saporem Diem. Savor the Day. Guess what Bill? You been served. D. I. V. O. R. C. E.
Bernie “Burn Baby Burn” Sanders: President Bernie, incendiary socialist, will wait until May 1st, May Day, to declare Day One when he’ll Bernie y’all rich white mofcukas asses down.