The Secret of Siri …A Praajek Exclusive

Just who is Siri? That wise machina with the voice of a disembodied siren in the new iPhone4s (“s” for Siri); she who speaks volumes in flat, compressed cadences and, depending on the question, with a discernible touch of irony, impatience and often a “yeah, right, ok I know your type, so here’s my answer,” tenor. Siri. Your personal assistant. She’s all yours. Or so you think. 
Siri, the elusive one,
 behind her mask.
Siri Sistaas..busy answering
iPhone commands and
questions from around the globe.
After an in-depth exhaustive investigative investigation, Praajek has uncovered the Secret of Siri. That smooth reassuring responsive revealer, that foxy voxy is not what you think. She’s not just an artificial intelligent voice-recognition algorithm. Siri is real. I tracked her down after a world-wide search that took me to the far corners of a round globe. But there she was, busy directing a team of Sistaa Siris in the backroom of a Berwyn, IL  after-market car stereo shop. She allowed me a few photos and an interview…which I’ll share with you in a future post. Their iphones were ringing steadily and the drone of their respondent voices sounded like monks chanting after a meager dinner. Siri allowed this photo, although she insisted on remaining unidentified behind her mask. 

Numbers Game

Why didn't Apple just call it the iPhone 5 instead of wimpy-sounding 4S. First big mistake by Apple in quite a while. The big mistake could have been avoided by the small solution of naming yesterday's-announced new iPhone the iPhone 5. That's what everyone wanted and expected. Then in six months or a year reveal the, you guessed it… iPhone6, or the iSix..or the SixSenz… a “phone” that would be a virtual sixth sense, anticipating and fulfilling your every need, non-need or whim. The new iPhone 4S almost meets that goal with SIRI (not Suri, Tom & Katie's seedling), a virtual personal assistant or butler you call for by simply commanding “her” to do whatever.. Sort of like, “James, tea please and then have the footman bring round the carriage.” But 4S? Sounds like a midrange model Chevy Malibu when the world wanted a Ferrari.