2014 – Hoarding & Lording and Baring & Sharing

2014 – Hoarding & Lording and Baring & Sharing

Hoarders and Lorders
First Class boarders
Fast-lane one-percenters
Kept passing
And amassing
While the 99
Settled-in Pharelly Happy
And Sappy
By baring and sharing
Selfies and songs
Not about Wall Streeter wrongs
Or big bankers the wankers
Who sank the middle classes
Instead just laid down like lambs
And Instagramed
Our Big Asses.

The Year in Review
More déjà vu
Back to Iraq
The Taliban captures
Our Afghan Army Hound
To the past we’re bound
No Boots on the Ground
Just drone it in
Death from Abuzz
Make ISIS Was Was.

The Foxes roided
Economic good news they voided
This the Year of Fear
Sourced our ills
To the reign
Of Barack Hussein
Who can’t-say-nope
To those drug mule kids
We be hatin’
On our border violatin’
With calves the size of cantaloupes.

That’s not all
Sarah Palin saw
Our African Prince
Had just the tonic
He imported the deadly virus

In the never ending battle 
For Obamafear
That Obamakill would drown us 
In medical bills
Ebola dropped handshakes and fist bumps down to our heels
We right-wringed a dried-out federal budget deal
Cut disease research cause we’d rather be dead
And pour buckets of ice water on our heads instead.

The Foxes saw
With fear
And malice
From afar
Obama disappear
That Malaysian airliner
The Executive Action Immigration signer
Tea baggers soon regretted their
Putin Piner shouts of “real leader”
As his ruble roiled
In a glut of US oil
He’s now boiled borsht with cold chopped liver
While Obama sings “Crimea River.”

Obama’s sins
On him The Foxes pinned
He hacked J-Law’s nudie selfies
Sold ’em to Boku Harem themselfies
Wrote the lyrics to “It’s All About the Bass.”
Uncoupled unconscious Gwyneth and Chris
Encouraged Michael Sam and his boyfriend’s kiss
Caught Michelle at midnight in the fridgerator
Cold cocked Janay and Jay-Z in elevators.
But the smoking gun, folks,
Was tokin’
A Commie Cuban Fat Cigar
In a ‘57 Chevy car.
A bridge way too far.

For some this year served as a lesson
The Pope said dogs might go to Heaven
“Who am I to judge,” he sounded zany
Easier he said, for a dog, than for Dick Cheney
For who’s reserved a special place in Hell
For rectal-de-hydration in an eternal cell.
Rick Perry hopes to be less “oops-ier”
In unGoogled horn-rimmed glass
He looks even more the ass
Running again with pants more poopier.

Others took a road less travelled
Bill Cosby came unravelled
Rejected as a driver for Uber
His face not funny smile less goofy
Delivering roofies
For a start-up called Luber.

For 2015 here’s some advice:
If you shot Bin Laden
That he’s dead will suffice.

If your name is Grover last name Norquist
Or even Casper the famous Milquetoast
Please don’t tweet that you drove a Hippie van
To the Black Rock desert and Burning Man.

Don’t get excited by the next Podcast Serial
I’ll give you a glimpse of the new material:
It’s not Adnan,
It’s not Jay,
It’s not Mr. S.,
It’s not boyfriend Dave.
The Serial killer is…you simp…
The Male Chimmmppp!…Chimp?

  (For those who missed
The Serial podcast referenced above…
A verse for you to leave or love.)

The Polar Ice Cap
May be melting
Like a face-lift of Renee Zellweger.
Climate change
If you say, “Hell, go figure!”
Then this year’s Super Bowl half time
You know it
Will feature America’s favorite Poets.

Happy New Year – 2015

The Bloody Wet Dreams of Dick Cheney

Someone tore the bumper sticker off my car that read: “I’m Already Against the Next War.” So here we go again. 
Dick Cheney, Rummy Rumsfeld and assorted NeoCon conspirators woke up recently refreshed, revitalized and rearing to have others go to war again. 
Ahhhh…feeling good, growls Cheney, the words dribbling from the edge of his crooked mouth, stretching his withered limbs and rubbing the sleepy fairy dirt from his rheumy eyes. His taxpayer funded transplanted heart, a secret gift from an anonymous donor who Cheney expresses no interest in knowing…“it hadn’t been a priority for me…” is now “my new heart, not someone else’s old heart.”  
Finally goaded by Cheney and The War Generals into new tough talk, NodramaObama lullabies Cheney to sweet dreams with his national TV address announcing his overdue “strateregy” (Bushism) of a New Belligerency. Although not as much fun without Boots-on-the-Ground, Rōnin Cheney deep sleeps REM dreams of salivating military contractors, greedy hyenas encircling wounded prey.
 Oh, the Humanity, the FoxHannity, the Insanity! Our heartless warrior mumbles in his sleep…my contractors, my contractors…let them feast first and leave the spoils for the Boots to shed blood and wipe up.  
His stolen heart beats faster now, exciting his feverish fear mongering brain into dream twitches of riches to be reaped, a legacy to be legitimized and gastric gushes of plain old evil to belch and enjoy. 

Mr. Cheney, Who’s the Real Traitor and Spy?

Former U.S. Vice President and un-convicted war criminal Dick Cheney Sunday proclaimed NSA leaker Edward Snowden a “traitor…and possibly a Chinese spy…” Looking perky and pink-cheeked, Mr. Cheney told his Fox TV hosts during an interview that if the NSA  American citizen spy program had been in effect before the September 11 terrorists attacks on the U.S. then the attacks might have been thwarted. Mr. Cheney’s selective memory, perhaps compromised as a result of multiple heart attacks preceding his surprising receipt last year of a new heart from a mysterious and anonymous donor, overlooks another reason the 9-11 attacks were not uncovered. On August 6, 2001, a month before the attacks, the Bush Administration received a PDB “Presidential Daily Briefing” titled “Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S.”  According to a September 12, 2012 New York Times article, this warning from the CIA was a frustrated follow-up to two previous other briefs on May 1 and July 29, 2001 warning the White House that Bin Laden was planning to attack soon. Of course these warning were ignored on the advice of the Vice and his neo-con cronys. If Mr. Cheney had not chosen to ignore these warnings perhaps the 9-11 attacks could have been prevented. Mr. Cheney deliberately chose not to protect and defend the American people from a possible imminent attack which resulted in the massacre of nearly 3,000 defenseless citizens on American soil. Who’s the real traitor, Edward Snowden or Dick Cheney? And could Cheney be an al-Qaeda spy?