The Assignment 2021 Rap-Up


They understood the Assignment
To Flip the script
On January Sixth
Insurrection infection
Election rejection
A Q’anon-shamed shaman
The Beast a’Blamin’
Scheming & screaming
Behind the scenes
Like those feral pigs Invaded
Our Nation’s parks
Marinated and raided the Capitol
In fanatical
Conspiracy wild hog slop.
Huffin’ & Puffin’ venting His spleen
Seething and
Greasing the truth with Hydroxychloroquine.
Those damn Venezuelan voting machines.

The Big Lie
Pie in the Sky
Goodbye MAGA red road
We still have to reap
But don’t have to keep
The evil that we sowed.

Twitter and Facebook
The assignment
Made the case to hook
And Banned
The Bitter Beast
to Mar-a-Lago confinement.

Some of us
The dumb of us
The thumbs-down of us
didn’t understand the assignment
Just three lil’ jabs
The Lord he’ll protect you if you don’t
But won’t protect you if you do.

You’ll scream, “A lil’ jab’ll do ya”
Let us ask
We asked,
For variant facts
From deviant hacks
The Great Emaskulation
Vaxulation stagnation
Lax vaxxed Americana.

Mask mass shootings
With TP Thoughts’n Prayers
By besotted fraud squad
Boebert & Green
Two THOTs impaired.
Pass the Ammo
Wear the camo
Like baby Kyle
AR-15 cap-backward style
Don’t despair
Don’t knock it
Shoot the moon
You’ll be immune
On a rocket
Launched by a billionaire.

You lost your assignment
Excuse was confinement
Shorting subReddit
GameStop popped
Non-fungibles broken
Like micro-dosed
Non-fungi tokens
Magical shroom
No elephants in the room
This assignment made as much sense
As this goofy crypto stanza.

The Great Resignation
Nation’s economy Rigged for Gigs
The Great Gigsination
Understood the assignment
Behind it.
So Grab your own Grub
Deliver yourself
From from the
The Great Vax Mandation
Take this jab and love it.

Libs called dibs
On “Own the libs”
And ended up owning themselves.
Awoke to toke
The Progressive woke
Wokes don’t ever joke
They just provoke.
And choke
The works on election day
A super-spreader
Wokeism event
Discussions of
Progressive Instructions:
Wear your Systemic Structural Nonbinary Finery;
Get your Heteronormative CIS Critical Latinx fix;
Do your best to protest
At the anti-Racist Microaggressive white privileged chest-feeding front-holed they-them, cancelled woke fest.
(Over-understood that assignment In the Faculty Lounge.)

Jewish space lasers
Igniting forest fires
Repooblickin’ ballot erasers
JKF Jr alive not satire
Hillary controls cicada drones
To keep Trump from ever Reclaiming the throne.

We swallowed the fool-aid
From our self-buttressing Information depositories;
Inserted conspiracy

Our planet
We ran it
On blood and oil
The future soiled
The Globe’s not warm
It’s hot the norm
We should be sobsters
Don’t look up we’re all boiled
In the pot
Like blinded lobsters.

“Birds are not real”
Stop the steal
We wondered
Where the good wine went
Instead of understanding
The damn assignment.

Curtseying Krysten
And Machinating Machin
Declined the Squad’s
Demand for dancin’.
Understood their assignment
To Build Back Better
But whacked the cheddar
And stuck
Like a cargo ship in cement.

Checks of stimulus
Expectations nebulous
The midnight Covid Incubus
On your chest
And still infects.

Our real National worry
To hurry
And get
A new Jeopardy
Alex Trebek…
Maybe Tiger
When he recovers from
His triple bogey wreck?

UnSocial Media
Understood the assignment
Let’s make the world worse
With a Deep Fake metaverse
With Zucker
And Tucker
Hot to trot
Shuckin’ the Fox Rot dance
In a post-truth monetized trance.

Cicadas emerged
Inflation surged
Time to dig out
The old Whip Inflation Now Button pin
And maybe Kamala will reappear Again.

“So…” became
A popular new way
To start an answer
To any question…
Gives you the superior Advantage…at your discretion;
It’s better than “well”
And sure beats “uhh…” so start off always saying “So”! Duh!

2021 brought some relief
The NRA bankruption
Targeted by its total corruption.
Good riddance to
Flush Phlegmball
Not much grief.
The Beast was banished
But not yet vanished
Lurking in the sad bitter
Unvaxxed hearts of the peeved And aggrieved.
Joe understood what he was Assigned
By 80 plus milllion
But seems simply resigned
Like a eunuch’s ennui
At a celibate orgy.

Let’s agree to understand the Assignment
In 2022.
For the sake of the good old red White and blue.
Wear a mask…in crowds
Don’t attack school board volunteers.
Don’t buy an assault weapon…it’s Too tempting.
Don’t commit a mass murder.
Forget Mars.
Vax up…as many as you can get.
Don’t get into a tech billionaire’s rocket…one of them is going to crash in 2022.
Don’t drive your car into Christmas parades of marching kids and little old ladies.
Don’t try to overthrow the government. (Unless tRump wins again.)
Don’t hope for more Princess Di movies or shit.
Stay away from gender reveal parties..people still have them. (Unless it’s a Genital Reveal Party..then it’s an orgy).
Thinkin’ about joining a Smash ‘n Grab? Think again.
Don’t join a cult. Unless you’re
A Repooblican…then you’re already in one.
Don’t become a rapper…high death rate.
Don’t dance when you’re suddenly happy or get good news…You look stupid.
Don’t choose the best title ever for your novel “I Love You But I’ve Chosen Darkness.” Claire Vaye Watkins already did that.
Don’t confuse the fluff of life
With the real stuff of life.
And check out rapper Tay Money…Now that’s a sweet assignment.©️2021 L.Rudmann

Happy New Year

Lawrence Rudmann

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