GOP Says Don’t Buy iPhone5

Don’t Buy New iPhone5 – GOP Memo Warns

A secret “eyes-only” memo from the Republican National Committee warns party faithful of the threat that the new Apple iPhone5 presents to their Party capturing the White House in November. “…it is imperative that we (party leaders) discourage the purchase nationwide… of the  eyePhone Five (sic) ..” the memo goes on to explain that increased sales of the new smart phone could help “bolster the economy, help create and sustain jobs, ..exactly when we need to tamp-down voter and consumer confidence in a re-covering economy.” The top-secret memo reflects recent predictions from sources such as a JP Morgan economist (referenced recently in a Sept. 16 New York Times article) who said that the new iPhone “could add one-quarter to one-half a percentage point to 4th quarter annualized growth in the gross domestic product.”
The memo, possibly written by something, a computer program, or someone named a “Reince Priebus” ( which could be a code name .. Anagram is: 
I spurn ice beer?) goes on to discourage Republicans from purchasing the  “eyephone” (sic) until after the November election…it is crucial to our success in November that the public perceives the economy to be wallowing and stagnating in a morass of Democrat/ Liberal/Socialist apologetic apathy… sales of this new-fangled Apple ei-phone must be stopped.”

Author: Lawrence Rudmann

Multi-genre comedic political poet and trender/periscoper of what's around the corner. Avid tennis player and ukulele strummer. Comedic poetry stimulator and healer.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s