GOP Says Don’t Buy iPhone5

A secret “eyes-only” memo from the Republican National Committee warns party faithful of the threat that the new Apple iPhone5 presents to their Party capturing the White House in November. “…it is imperative that we (party leaders) discourage the purchase nationwide… of the  eyePhone Five (sic) ..” the memo goes on to explain that increased sales of the new smart phone could help “bolster the economy, help create and sustain jobs, ..exactly when we need to tamp-down voter and consumer confidence in a re-covering economy.” The top-secret memo reflects recent predictions from sources such as a JP Morgan economist (referenced recently in a Sept. 16 New York Times article) who said that the new iPhone “could add one-quarter to one-half a percentage point to 4th quarter annualized growth in the gross domestic product.”

The memo, possibly written by something, a computer program, or someone named a “Reince Priebus” ( which could be a code name .. Anagram is: 

I spurn ice beer?) goes on to discourage Republicans from purchasing the  “eyephone” (sic) until after the November election…it is crucial to our success in November that the public perceives the economy to be wallowing and stagnating in a morass of Democrat/ Liberal/Socialist apologetic apathy… sales of this new-fangled Apple ei-phone must be stopped.”