Republican Platform: They Built It.

What’s more bizarre than Angel Dudeini’s Republican Revelations? How about a dose of Republican Reality? Here are the highlights of Romney’s Republican Platform, voted on and approved by delegates this week. The Platform represents the Republicans’ guiding principles and vision for America. 

1. Support for the public display of the Ten Commandments. (Comment: display at all Wall Street brokerage houses and major banks)

2. Grant Constitutional Rights to unborn fetuses. (Comment: just make sure they have a photo ID before they try to vote)

3. Uphold rights to purchase unlimited amounts of ammunition, ammo clips or assault rifle ammo magazines. (Comment: ensure gun & ammo shops have strong presence at all Republican Conventions.) 

4. Encourage undocumented laborers to go home. (Comment: who says you can’t go home again.)

5. Outlaw same-sex marriage. (Comment: That’s so gay!)

6. Ensure that English is our national language. (Comment: Speak English very loudly so everyone can understand you.)

7. Require photo ID’s to vote. (Comment: Welcome home Jim Crow)

8. Repeal the estate tax. (Comment: Attention Walmart shoppers…now you don’t have to pay taxes on that multi-million $ estate you inherited)

9. Encourage development of coal-fired energy and reduce EPA regulations on limiting greenhouse gases. (Comment: don’t just move the mountaintop.. Remove it! )

10. Raise the age for Medicare eligibility. (Comment: Medicare will now only pay for hospice.)

11. Encourage more home schooling, single-sex classrooms and abstinence education instead of sex ed & family planning programs. (Comment: what’s a little ‘homemade sin’ among kin?)

That’s it. In all it’s goofy harshness. Even Angel Dudeini couldn’t make this stuff up.

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