Praajek has just received a draft of several pages of President Obama’s highly anticipated plan to stimulate the creation of new jobs. These pages, received thru a secret source, are possibly original, with several pages appearing water-marked and tobacco stained by Speaker Boehner’s tears of joy and cigarette tanned fingers.
Step One: Free the Job Creators. By eliminating all taxes for Americans making at least $250,000 annually, these wealthy Americans will take that much-needed added wealth and trickle it down to the unemployed masses. New jobs will be created in industries such as yacht-building, vacation home maintenance and cleaning, luxury auto detailing and corporate jet maintenance.
Step Two: Keep Wealthy Families Strong Act. By eliminating all inheritance taxes, wealthy families will be insured that their legacy of job creation will be continued by their heirs, just chomping at the bit to get started in the job-creation business.
Step Three: The Un-Cuff Big Business Act. By reducing the Corporate tax rate to one percent, these mighty engines of productivity, led by their now-shackled sacrificing Titan CEOs, will finally have the resources to merge with each other, eliminate job-related waste and employee inefficiencies, create less expensive products for the American consumer by moving operations off-shore and advantaging foreign worker wage and benefit efficiencies.
Step Four: The Homeland Manifest Environmental Destiny Act. By enacting this land-marking bill, onerous environmental laws and regulations which hinder job creation will be obliterated from our now strangled Homeland. Mountain-top national park top soil removal projects will uncover rich deposits of clean coal in land now burdened and “protected” by Federal land nannies; back-yard mom and pop Fracking operations will tap deep bubbles of natural gas across our Homeland; a new On-Shore Oil Drilling initiative will unleash lush deposits of “black gold” from America’s shore lines and beaches now being used for the unproductive purpose of recreation.
Step Five: Let Kids Be Kids Laws. By eliminating all anti-bullying laws we will ensure a renewable supply of American Corporate and Republican leaders. In his speech to Congress, scheduled whenever Speaker Boehner allows, the President is scripted to tell the American people that “….today’s little bullies are our leaders of tomorrow.”
Step Six: Operation Clean Your Own Mess Kit will eliminate FEMA. Removing federal interference in local disasters will spur public self-reliance and stimulate local boot-strap disaster clean up jobs.
Check back here at Praajek.com for additional details of the President’s plans to “Rehire America.”