Republican Politico-Porn Stars

Sarah “The Quitty” Palin campaigned today with Michele “The Pink Elephant” Bachmann in Minnesota. Ten thousand white middle and older-aged people, mostly dowdy white women and tea-baggers attended, swooned, screamed and squirmed in ecstasy. 

Why is it we must always mention, when we mention Palin, that she is attractive? For a middle-aged lady, that is.  So is Bachman…actually better-looking than Palin. Maybe it’s because there is such a paucity of attractive women in the Republican Party. Washington (politics) has been called Hollywood for ugly people and Palin and Bachmann defy that stereotype. Both crazy ladies look like aging porn stars, Palin in her black leather (actually black velvet today), Michele in her anti-gay yellow plastic jacket. Like the political porn stars they are, both used language oozing with double entendre, dripping with politico-sexual red-meat come-ons. They were great double-teaming their audience, who were used to watching rather than joining the fun. 


“Someone better tell Washington that that pink elephant is on the move, and 2010 is shaping up to be the year that conservative women get together and help take back this country,” Palin said. “And Michele is leading the stampede!” ..today’s Minnesota rally for Michele Bachmann.

“So if in fact there is a nation who is compliant with all the rules ahead of time…if they fire against the United States, a biological weapon, a chemical weapon, or maybe a cyber attack, then we aren’t going to be firing back with nuclear weapons,” said Bachmann. Today’s Minnesota campaign rally.


Some other great Michele Bachmann quotes from the past:
“Don’t Palinize Me!”
“Not all cultures are equal.”
“We’re running out of rich people in this country.”
“”I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter. And I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.”
“Little children will be forced to learn that homosexuality is normal and natural and perhaps they should try it.”
“Literally, if we took away the minimum wage—if conceivably it was gone—we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level.” —Michele Bachmann, 1/26/05, Jobs, Energy and Community Development Committee, testifying against SF 3, a bill to raise the MN minimum wage and advocating the elimination of the minimum wage altogether.

“No one that I know disagrees with natural selection — that you can take various breeds of dogs … breed them, you get different kinds of dogs,” she said. “It’s just a fact of life. … Where there’s controversy is (at the question) ‘Where do we say that a cell became a blade of grass, which became a starfish, which became a cat, which became a donkey, which became a human being?’ There’s a real lack of evidence from change from actual species to a different type of species. That’s where it’s difficult to prove.” – Michele Bachmann quoted in the Stillwater Gazette, September 29, 2003.

Author: Lawrence Rudmann

Multi-genre comedic political poet and trender/periscoper of what's around the corner. Avid tennis player and ukulele strummer. Comedic poetry stimulator and healer.

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