Today marks the 100th Day that George W. Bush has not been president. A grateful nation wants to commemorate this auspicious day and every day forward that the Bush Regime is history. On this momentous occasion let us mark the accomplishments our former
slacker leader has achieved since he is no longer bleeding leading us.
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- Left six messages on Dick “The Dick” Cheney’s bunker cell phone to ask him which way was up on his new Snuggie.
- Downloaded the “iFart” application for his new iphone.
- Fooled Laura twice by hiding iFart under her living room recliner while she was watching The Closer.
- Ordered two dozen ShamWows for wiping up numerous kitchen and bathroom spills. Told Laura, “Sure wished I’d had these around during Katrina.”
- Booty-called Condi on first day of Spring after finishing off an old bottle of Hiram Walker found hidden in a musty box of baseball cards in the garage.
- Bought a 1964 VW hippie van on eBay for him and Laura to drive to the Burning Man festival this summer in Black Rock, Nevada.