Pussy Flu

Are Americans a bunch of pussies? A kid coughs in school and officials close it for a week. The media love this. Big national maps…red pig flu spreading like wildfire…Ohio…2 cases and rising….Kansas..six cases…New York….35 cases…holy sheet….this thing is an invasion….from Mexico…or Mars? Get a grip, folks. Thirty thousand Americans die from the flu each year. Thirty thousand Americans die each year from firearms…12,000 from handguns….why don’t we have a national panic over handgun deaths. NRA Flu. Scammers are on the street selling Home Depot dust masks…($10 for 300)…to panicked commuters for a buck apiece. Yeah, wash your hands…stay home if you’re not feeling well…common sense stuff.
If I were a kid not wanting to go to school tomorrow, I’d start coughing…oh…not…feeling…good…think…I’m…getting…swineflu…
SWINEFLUSWINEFLUSWINEFLU…RUN….RUN…CLOSE DOWN….Oink. Hey, if you’re a meat-eater, rush out to the grocery now and stock up on pork. It’s cheap….get it now before it’s banned. Smells like bacon flu?…no, smells like a nation of pussies.

Author: Lawrence Rudmann

Multi-genre comedic political poet and trender/periscoper of what's around the corner. Avid tennis player and ukulele strummer. Comedic poetry stimulator and healer.

3 thoughts on “Pussy Flu”

  1. Damn “P”, why don’t you tell us what you really think!!! Can’t smell like a nation of pussies, Friday’s and Lent are over. Told ya it is the “Pig Period” for our nation! Where’s Ned Beatty when you need him…..Squeeeeeeal

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  2. Have no fear! Breaking news…Sources have just reported they have tracked and found the source of the “swine” flu. An agency called the CDC(Convict Dick Chenney) has just confirmed their findings.

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