Ah, the memories. Early Sixties. I was in the third grade. A Christmas Pageant for our parents and onstage we filed one-by-one each holding a sign with a single letter that would spell the warm and fuzzy message: CHRISTMAS LOVE. Except we somehow got out of line, mixed up, marched and lined-up holding above our shaggy holiday heads our assigned letters. And spelled instead of Christmas Love.…
C R E A M E S … H I S ….V O L T S
Sister Mary Agonista Sufferina, rushing onstage to re-arrange us…oh, the horror. Quickly we re-shuffled presenting our holy message to our puzzled parents..this time spelling:
C R A V E… H O T… S L I M S.
Holy Lord, muttered Sister Agonista Sufferina, this time recruiting the assured and martinet hands of Sister Atonna Flagalattia who whipped us in chaotic circles uttering tiny hot ejaculations of “holy-mother-of-god” and “jesus-mary & joseph.” Re-arranged again, our little arms now tiring from hoisting letters overhead, we sheepishly shouted in unison the elusive words, “Christmas Love” while overhead our cartoon call-outs shouted the words:
R E C T A L… H O S… V I M.
To vigorous applause, we were shooed off stage left.