Save the US POSTAL SERVICE

We often complain and whine about the U.S. Postal Service as an anachronistic institution for its inefficiencies and service. But let’s face it, in these times of desperate distancing and disease, the sight of your local Postal carrier delivering mail and packages is a welcome one. Recent threats to the future funding for the USPS by “president” Trump jeopardizes this much-needed delivery service. Trump has been blocking emergency funding saying that if it just raised rates for shipping items from Amazon and other companies it would not need extra funding. What he really wants is to cripple the USPS so that it won’t be able to process and deliver election mail-in ballots from states like California which recently approved state-wide mail-in voting for everyone. Well, here’s an idea for the USPS that would convince Trump to provide a massive infusion of bucks. Hey, USPS, start printing TRUMP STAMPS. His ego is so pervertedly out of whack that he couldn’t resist having his mug (with a subtle MAGA message on it) on postage stamps. Especially if the Postal Service eliminated all other stamps. Just one beautiful huge powerful tremendous stamp that everyone would have to buy to mail anything. And make it a one cent stamp. Lick it to stick it. No self-adhesion.The glue would have the subtle scent, aroma and taste of a mail-order Trump Steak pan-fried in rich thick Trump cologne arousing the licker to buy Trump steaks and perfume and other Trump swag. That’s 55 images of the GOAP (greatest of all presidents) on every envelope mailed. And a big stimulus check for the Post Office. Funding problem solved, USPS.

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