Re-wind WrapUp

After the recent New Hampshire Dem Debate Donald J Trump must be smacking his bloated cheeseburger lips at the prospects of ripping any of these guys to shreds.

Bernie, Putin’s candidate, rewound & shouted out his greatest hits. Arms flapping like an ostrich trying to launch, Socialist Bernie, eyes bulging, shoulders bent hovered over his dais like a cranky old vulture dewlap dipping into old-school socialist roadkill.

Pete the Mayor. Sounds just as awkward as Pete the President. Smartest guy in the room. But also the gayest. And that, folks is the crux of the issue. Mayor Pete, may not have the experience but certainly has the chops, thoughtful intelligence and temperate judgement. Who cares if you’re gay? Ah, unfortunately enough to elect Trump in a landslide.

Pocahontas, (damn you Trump!) face pinched in angry outrage, fisted the air to punctuate her points, nearly punching herself in her haughty East Coast stuck-up nose. Get rid of the granny glasses, Medicare-For-All, free college tuition and re-invent yourself and your campaign before it’s (already) too late.

Joe, yes that Sleepy Joe…(Trump’s nicknames are often “perfect.” )…his skeletal skull hosted two vacant tiny botoxed stretched eyes while his mouth mumbled marbles around loose teeth struggling to remain glued. Joe’s brain, in 5-sec delay mode, searched in vain to coherently relay his thoughts. Say it ain’t so, Joe.

Fargo Amy K., ya, sure, u betcha ..exaggerating a smile that behind the lips seems to seethe with either breaths of disdain or sheer insecurity. (Such a great boss to work for, they say.) The pundits declared her the debate winner a result of her few well-lobbed smile-wrapped rehearsed lines. Amy “SmileyFace” says she’s the moderate we need.

Tech Rich Guy Andy Yang, (say that real fast three times) open shirted and not “tied” down to traditional democrat liberal solutions. The robots are coming for your jobs he Ludditely says. His solution to everything is to just give everyone a free $1,000 bucks a month. This will solve all social ills, reduce inequality and racism, reduce infant mortality, stop Russian manipulation of our elections, cure plaque psoriasis, toenails fungus and bring our nation together as a mutual-respecting harmonious nation. Hey, let’s try it. But with someone else as President.

“Need to Impeach” Tom Steyer, the hedge fund Rich Guy seemed to be the only candidate focused on the need for unity and the need to defeat Twrumpf. He makes a good coach, reminding everyone what is most important. Coach of the Year. Not President.

Skipping the debate, Lil’ Mike Bloomberg is spending one $billion of his accumulated $60 Billion to win the Dem nomination. The good: he’s focusing not on attacking other Dem candidates but instead solely on attacking Twrumpf himself. Plus he says even if he fails in his quest for the nomination he’ll continue to spend big bucks on defeating The Twrumpfer. Bad news: those Dem candidates are condemning Mike declaring that the Presidency cannot be bought. Well, this time if buying it rids us of Twrumpf then I say buy the damn thing.

Time for a White Knight (not racial!) to ride in and pull the sword from the set-in-stone crop of current weak candidates. Who? Sherrod Brown, the rough and gruff Senator from Ohio. He’s a no-nonsense moderate, anti-free trader, proponent of strong unions. This guy is the complete package..if the DNC could call on Central Casting for a perfect candidate across the stage walks Sherrod Brown. As you leave, Mr. Trump, let the door hit you in the ass.

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