Donald’s Smart Lil’ Cookie

Will Kim Jong Un, the world’s youngest dictator be the salvation of Donald J Trump, one of the world’s oldest dictator’s-in-training? As Trump’s troubles continue to hit the fan, splattering the face of American democracy, Lil’ Kim (not the has-been Black female rapper, cultural-appropriator extraordinaire) launches provocative missiles into the sea, issues dire warnings of incinerating the U.S. and wolfs down several Big Macs and Large Fries. (He secrets them in hidden Presidential Freezers away from his half-starving nation ready to be celebratorily gorged upon at a missile-launching’s notice… as Trump said “….he’s a smart cookie.”)  
As Trump nears the impeachment precipice, the North Korean missile launches skyrocket. Could this be Trump’s ace in the hole? North Korea sinks one of our ships floating around in the Korean Sea. Trump nukes Pyongyang. Trump is canonized by an American public eager to rally-around a War President. (Nothing brings Americans together more than a good old- fashioned war.) 
Special Investigator? Nyet. Senate and Congressional probes? Nyet. Now Trump is even deeper in debt to Putin, who encouraged young Jong Un to blast the American warship with his assurance that Russia would have his back and defend the Kim Dynasty against the American perps. Kim and his Presidential Hair Stylist are promised a special flight to Moscow before Trump attacks. Putin reneges, Kimmy is nuked. Trump is a hero. Trump backs out of NATO, goes to Moscow to receive Russian Medal of Honor. Putin delivers on Nikita Khrushchev’s 1960’s declaration that “we will bury you” (America). Where’s China? No more threat of American influence and power in their region. The U.S.has been reduced to a third-rate kleptocracy. China, in a gracious gesture, approves hundreds more Ivanka Trump product trademarks. Trump hotels rise throughout Russia. Oh, and Putin personally hands over the “golden shower video tape” to Trump with the assurance that there are no copies. Now there’s a Trump Deal. How do you say “sucker” in Russian?