Randomoniums

How Do You Like Me Now?
Will the Wizzened Dark Evil One Endorse the Bloated-Faced Evil Orange One?
Ok Dick Cheney, nation building-invading Dr. Strangelove, you still sticking with Trump? The Mad Playboy says no more invading! At least he still loves water boarding, so dear to your stolen desiccated artificial heart.

Mr. Dick-tater Head
Mad Tyrant Trump’s campaign manager Paul Manafort lobbied for world-champion dictator-despots like Ferdinand Marcos, Angolan guerrilla mass-murderer Jonas Savimbi, Mobutu Sese Seko, dictator of Zaire (now the Democratic Republic of Congo), dictator torturer-extraordinaire Sani Abacha of Nigeria and Ukraine’s former mobster president Viktor Yanukovych ? Who could be his next client?  North Korea’s baby faced despot dictator Kim Jong Un?

Ask Your Doctor if Trump Is Right For You. 
Let’s ask an important question. Does Donald Trump really look healthy? By all outward appearances Mr. Trump’s florid face, slow pendulous gait, saggybaggy frame certainly leads one to assume he might not be in the most robust health. Although I’m not a doctor (I just play one on the internet) the aforementioned, plus his well-documented preference for high fat/sodium/sugar fast foods indicates a person with a high risk for cardiovascular disease and or diabetes. All candidates seeking the highest office in the world should not only release their medical records but should undergo a complete physical exam performed by an independent team of physicians with the results made public. This is the era of sharing, after all.

Extreme Wetting
Donald Trump’s announcement that he will employ “extreme vetting” for new wannabe immigrants begs for more clarification. Will new immigrant applicants be subjected to waterboarding to force their confessions of love for Sharia Law? Or just simple lie detector tests? Are you now, or have you ever been a member of an Islamic Terrorist organization? Maybe special extreme Rorschach tests: does this picture remind you of a burka or a suicide vest? Or maybe by “extreme” Trump means “extremities.” Think cattle prods and fingernails. Dark Cheney, you might be coming out of retirement.

Olympic Dudes.. I Feel Your Pain. 
I’ve had it! Enough is enough. Enuf already, Ok? Stop! Quit it now! I can’t take it any more. I’m fed up and just about had it up to here. Not there: HERE! I’m so tired of having my body objectified. I feel for those poor Olympic guys in Rio, the swimmers, the gymnasts, weight lifters. I feel their pain. Being ogled and whistled at one can almost feel the fantasization as described in recent Cosmopolitan Magazine headline: Olympic Gold Bulges. Cosmopolitan Magazine headline: Olympic Gold Bulges.

Author: Lawrence Rudmann

Multi-genre comedic political poet and trender/periscoper of what's around the corner. Avid tennis player and ukulele strummer. Comedic poetry stimulator and healer.

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