America’s in a Rut

What’s the most insidious, prevalent and devastating health issue facing Americans today? From the amount of advertising, print and broadcast, it appears that the inability of men to rise to the occasion whenever they feel the urge (all the time!), otherwise referred to as ED, is ravaging this upright country like a plague. This apparently affects women too. With doses of viagra and cilalis for their men, women can now sit outside naked in bathtubs and not live in fear that the guy in the next tub will be unable to invite her to his tub for mutual aquatic toe wiggling. Women can also dance and swirl up stairways confident that a man, appropriately and timely dosed, will be able to dance and swirl (fully engorged) up the stairway to heaven with them. Now, with one popular product, men can address this national flaccid contagion by dosing themselves daily, lest they miss the slightest imaginative provocation or opportunity for an outdoor bathtub skinny dipping session. But will the daily dosage be enough? Women need total assurance that what is supposed to happen actually happens. As the nation prepares for a return season of the Hini Flu (H1N1), Americans need to stand up and demand 24-7, hour-by-hour, minute-by-minute solutions to getting this country out of its rut and into the real rut.

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