“America is great again! Big-ass toilets with water flush tanks that hold 20 gallons of beautiful flushing water will fill America’s porcelain thrones,” announced Donald tRump today. With his latest EXECUTIVE ORDER, tRump mandates that all toilets in America be re-fitted and reinstalled with 20 gallon flush tanks, enough water to flush down even the largest presidential poops.
tRump elaborated that EPA-mandated 1.4 gal low-flush toilet tanks continue to vex him during his morning constitutional duties and that these big-assed toilets will accommodate multiple pounds of human fast-food ingested bio-waste. “Americans will once again be able to indulge in MacDonald Big Macs, Filet O’Fishes and large fries with that,” he said. “No more worries about toilets over-flowing with nasty smelling brown fast food lumps,” tRump overshared.
In opposition to tRump’s new order, the U. S. Plunger Association vowed to fight tRump’s order issuing the following statement: “This mis-conceived order has the potential to plunge our economy into the toilet, with the loss of many plumber’s helper jobs.”
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