Category: Bachmann

Of Tea Bags and Slurpees…

Lawrence RudmannLeave a comment
Fun time returns. Yes, it’s boring when the enemy is vanquished. Power breeds less discontent than apathy. It’s been painfully dull the past two years of Obama-Democratic lethargy and timidness; their masochistic need to be bullied by the No-nothing Do-nothing Repoobs. How many times can we implore Obama to “stand-up and fight?” Just when you think he’s about to channel his inner Harry Truman he slinks away, tail between legs muttering his Oomm-like reach-across-the-aisle mantra “com…pro…mise….com…pro…mise… The man will never change. In a recent New York Times interview, Northwestern University prof and historian Gary Wills notes that Obama, coming from both Black and White cultures has had to accommodate and compromise all his life to survive. It’s ingrained in his personality DNA. He’s not a fighter and never will be. I knew we were in trouble when shortly after becoming President he abandoned basketball and took up golf, the ultimate non-confrontational, self-competing (and defeating) hobby-sport ever devised by man. A gentleman’s game, hands are clean, no sweating just fretting. Hit the little ball in the little hole. How sweet. 
So, here we are. Two years later. Yes, a watered-down health care law (hey, better than nothing), some weak Wall Street banking financial reform (hey, better than nothing), a weak stimulus (hey, better than nothing) that actually saved and created a lot of jobs and reduced taxes although Obama decided in his own inimitable low-key good-government manner not to  spend anything telling people about it. When Bush/Rove cut taxes they sent everyone a letter saying a check was on the way…and then followed-up with a real check in the mail. Wow, look what President Bush did for me. Maybe President Obama’s new campaign motto should be “Better than Nothing.” Because that’s what we face for the next two years from Brutha Boehner and Blob Fish Mitch McConnell. 
But hey…it’s fun time again. Now we have some real visible foils to have fun with. Besides Boehner and Blobby, there’s Minnesota’s Michele “Hypno-Eyes” Bachman, Tennessee’s Rand “Aqua Buddha” Paul, South Carolina’s Jim “No Boyfriend Sex 4 Single Female Teachers” DeMint; and the Mama Grizzlie herself  “UBetcha Winky-wink.  Missed sorely will be Alaska’s  Joe “We Hardly Knew Ye” Miller, Delaware’s Christine “Not A Witch” O’Donnell and Nevada’s Sharron “Don’t Vote U Hispanics Besides U Look Asian 2 Me” Angle. Strange brew, those Tea Baggers. 
Time to get back to the fun stuff.

Republican Politico-Porn Stars

Lawrence RudmannLeave a comment
Sarah “The Quitty” Palin campaigned today with Michele “The Pink Elephant” Bachmann in Minnesota. Ten thousand white middle and older-aged people, mostly dowdy white women and tea-baggers attended, swooned, screamed and squirmed in ecstasy. 

Why is it we must always mention, when we mention Palin, that she is attractive? For a middle-aged lady, that is.  So is Bachman…actually better-looking than Palin. Maybe it’s because there is such a paucity of attractive women in the Republican Party. Washington (politics) has been called Hollywood for ugly people and Palin and Bachmann defy that stereotype. Both crazy ladies look like aging porn stars, Palin in her black leather (actually black velvet today), Michele in her anti-gay yellow plastic jacket. Like the political porn stars they are, both used language oozing with double entendre, dripping with politico-sexual red-meat come-ons. They were great double-teaming their audience, who were used to watching rather than joining the fun. 


“Someone better tell Washington that that pink elephant is on the move, and 2010 is shaping up to be the year that conservative women get together and help take back this country,” Palin said. “And Michele is leading the stampede!” ..today’s Minnesota rally for Michele Bachmann.
“So if in fact there is a nation who is compliant with all the rules ahead of time…if they fire against the United States, a biological weapon, a chemical weapon, or maybe a cyber attack, then we aren’t going to be firing back with nuclear weapons,” said Bachmann. Today’s Minnesota campaign rally.


Some other great Michele Bachmann quotes from the past:
“Don’t Palinize Me!”
“Not all cultures are equal.”
“We’re running out of rich people in this country.”
“”I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter. And I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.”
“Little children will be forced to learn that homosexuality is normal and natural and perhaps they should try it.”
“Literally, if we took away the minimum wage—if conceivably it was gone—we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level.” —Michele Bachmann, 1/26/05, Jobs, Energy and Community Development Committee, testifying against SF 3, a bill to raise the MN minimum wage and advocating the elimination of the minimum wage altogether.
“No one that I know disagrees with natural selection — that you can take various breeds of dogs … breed them, you get different kinds of dogs,” she said. “It’s just a fact of life. … Where there’s controversy is (at the question) ‘Where do we say that a cell became a blade of grass, which became a starfish, which became a cat, which became a donkey, which became a human being?’ There’s a real lack of evidence from change from actual species to a different type of species. That’s where it’s difficult to prove.” – Michele Bachmann quoted in the Stillwater Gazette, September 29, 2003.