U.S. Declares War on Afghanistan

President Barack Obama tonight announced to his citizens that America has declared war on a desolate, arid and mountainous nation called Afghanistan. The President said he will deploy 30,000 additional American soldiers to join 70,000 already there from a previous war. The purpose of the war is to defeat a handful* of enemy Afghanistan tribal warriors who fight under the nom de guerre of Taliban, which in the Afghani language Pashto means “students.”  This band of “insurgents” was supposedly eliminated during the previous and still on-going special U.S. war, referred to as “Operation Enduring Freedom.” Apparently, the Freedom did not Endure, as the band of Taliban had since regrouped. Since the first US-Afghan war began in 2001, more than $228 billion American taxpayer dollars have been spent.  The additional troops are needed because, as previous foreign aggressors, e.g. the former Soviet Union, have discovered, it takes about 100 modern war-equipped soldiers to fight, and maybe not even defeat, a single Afghani nationalist.

*Western military analysts say it is difficult to gauge the number of Taliban fighters under arms in Afghanistan. In October 2007, the New York Times reported the group might field as many as ten thousand fighters, but a much smaller fraction–less than three thousand–are full-time insurgents. Those numbers inched up in June 2008, when coordinated suicide bombings freed roughly four hundred Taliban fighters from a prison in Kandahar. Analysts also note that the Taliban and its core of fighters have become increasingly fragmented, and are driven to battle for a variety of competing reasons.

Click here to see how much US middle east wars are costing us: http://costofwar.com/
and here: http://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost_of_war_afghanistan

In Fierce Battle Afganraki Forces Subdue Texan Militants

KANSAS CITY, MO — Afganraki liberators captured fifty-two Texan insurgents today in a wide sweep of the Dallas-Ft. Worth suburbs where the American militants recently re-established control of an industrial warehouse district.

A spokesman for the Afganraki Command here said that operations were underway throughout the Dallas area to root out insurgents.

Operation American Islamic Freedom, now in its seventh year, has seen Afganraki liberation forces secure most of the Eastern, Southern and Western coastal areas of the U.S. with fierce battles continuing in the rugged heartland Midwest and Southwest regions.

Meanwhile, Afganraki President Mullah Karzimaliki is weighing options as a result of increasing pressure from his Radical Party leaders to commit up to 80,000 additional liberation forces in his nation’s seven year effort to establish Islamic control over the democratic American nation.

Amidst charges of fraud and irregularities in the recent re-election of U.S. President Rush Limbaugh, the Karzimaliki government is pressuring the Limbaugh Administration, which it installed following the initial invasion of America, to agree to a run-off election with New York challenger Rudy Guiliani, leader of now-pacified U.S. Republicans.

With more than 500,000 Afganraki soldiers and various international forces from the Coalition of Islamic Freedom Fighters now in the U.S., Middle Eastern diplomats in the Kansas City Capital continue to express confidence that the long and costly war effort to bring Islamic rule to the volatile North American region will succeed within the next decade.

The Middle Man

Remember the old Beatles’s song “Nowhere Man?” Our bold “Campaign Obama” has morphed into a real “Middle Man.” In health care reform, he’s let the rightwingnuts dictate the conversation (shouting match) and America will be lucky to get a watered-down health care bill, one that will have insurance executives guffawing and salivating all the way to their offshore bonus-infused banks. In Afghanistan, the Generals are licking their blood-thirsty lips for more vampire-fodder; Gen. McChrystal’s Ball at first saw the need for 20,000 additional troops, then when he detected Administration and Congressional hesitation, foresaw the need for 40,000; and now with Joe Biden’s honest assessment of American futility in that stone-age land, the General is saying he’ll need 80,000 additional troops for what Obama has described as our “war of necessity.” WWII….a war or necessity, but Afghanistan? I don’t think even Bush ever described Iraq in such unequivocal terms. Why is Obama even taking so long to come to a decision on McChrystal’s future blood needs if this is a “war of necessity.” Hell, if so, then let’s ramp up America WWII-style and bomb Afghanistan back to the stone age. Oh, yeah, it’s already that.

Obama is quietly and regrettably dissolving into an amorphous decision-making blob. The “Decider” he ain’t. More and more he straddles the middle of the road, seemingly unwilling to offend, always seeking affirmation disguised as bipartisanship. To paraphrase old Texan democrat Jim Hightower, the only things you’ll find in the middle of the road are yellow lines and dead skunks. As they say, (this phrase is a candidate for most overused cliche of 2009), Mr. Obama, “grow a pair.” If you do, at least you should be happy that they’ll be right where you like them: in the middle.

With apologies to the Beatles…just substitute Middle, for Nowhere…like this:
He’s a real middle man,
Sitting in his Middle Land,
Making all his middle plans
for middletons.

Doesn’t have a point of view,
Knows not where he’s going to,
Isn’t he a bit like you and me?
(hell, No!)

Middle Man, please listen,
You don’t know what you’re missing,
Middle Man, the world is at your command!

He’s as blind as he can be,
Just sees what everyone wants to see,
Middle Man can you see me at all?

Middle Man, don’t worry,
Take your time, don’t hurry,
Leave it all till somebody else
lends you a hand!

Making all his Middle plans
for nobody.
Making all his Middle plans
for nobody!