TRUMPMAS to REPLACE CHRISTMAS

Posted on by Lawrence Rudmann

After replacing Nat’l Park “free visit days” on MLK Day & Juneteenth with a free day on his birthday, tRump declares that TRUMPMAS will now replace Christmas to honor his holy other birthday on Dec 25. “All Wise Men can now bestow upon me gold…forget the frankincense & myrrh, just gold,” he said, adding a jolly “rumpa pump trump.”

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Published by Lawrence Rudmann

Multi-genre comedic political poet and trender/periscoper of what's around the corner. Avid tennis player and ukulele strummer and amateur mycologist. Comedic poetry stimulator and healer.

1 thought on “TRUMPMAS to REPLACE CHRISTMAS”

  1. Breaking News from a reliable source, the Borowitz Report:

    “ABERDEEN, SCOTLAND—In a move that sent liquor prices soaring on global markets, on Thursday Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth ordered the seizure of a Scottish tanker carrying single-malt whiskey.

    “Despite my repeated demands, the tanker refused to deliver its cargo to me,” Hegseth said. “You can ask anyone who knows me: Pete Hegseth will not be cut off.”

    Hegseth, who ordered the seizure via a late-night Signal text riddled with typos, said he hoped his action would deter other shippers who dare to threaten his alcohol supply.

    “The seizure of this tanker sends a clear message,” he said. “If anything is going to be loaded with whiskey, it’s me.”

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