2023 EOY- End of Year Rap-Up

ARTIFICIAL HUMANITY

Oh, the Humanity!
Ai ai ai
2023 and me
And thee.
R t fishy N telly gents
Our tea fish all en tella jens
Art e fish al n tela gens
Hallucinating
Chat bots
Make no sense.

TikTok bingeing
Hingeing on cringy
Fringey delirious
Nefarious
conspiracy plots.

Fabulist dreamer
George Santos’
Boasts
bestowed
a glowing gleamer
With bougie “rizz”
And Gucci booties
He left us flat without the fizz.

No End of the Swiftie E-ra
Her Time Covers the songs she sung
Barely a snicker nor a ripple
When Kim K gave us the nipple B-ra
The Ancient Stones stuck out their tongue
And made Joe Biden look rather young.

Crypto crashed,
The Bankman fried
McCarthy’s squeakership finally died
The Front Tuck shirt
The worst fashion trend
Like Trump’s wet baggy
saggy Depends
On MAGA friends
who mix and fix
His favo drink
Not Diet Coke
Not a Frozen Mitch
But a bespoke
Democracy on Ice
With a twist of twice
Squeezed sex robot
Lauren Bobert
neat and nice.

A Chinese balloon floated
Then exploded
Like a “ludicrously capacious bag”
In the sky
Atomic Barbenheimer’s Bomb
Mushroomed in micro-doses
Exposes the threat of pink anarchy
To undermine the patriarchy.

Did you snatch your buccal fat
That your facial cheeks begat
Or is the real fat seen and felt
Below the buckle of your belt?

As the metaverse morphed into meme landmines
The woke went broke
Climate winds of change screamed, “This ain’t no joke.”

The bluebird sang its dying tweet
Its bottom-lined cage in the red
Was pummeled and neck-locked by Meta’s Threads.
Musk and Zuck in a cock cage fight
A drag no-show voyeur delight.

Public school libraries
House books so scary
That Moms for Liberty
Declare are a “three-way ” jeopardy
To young minds masturbutory
In Florida Schools
Books need rules
And sterilized
By the fossilized
Governor Ron DeSanitize.

A Texas tyrant
Governor Abbott
Defiant
Abused and used
Migrants like maggots
Bussed from the border
Served his political order
To kick blue states
In the hindquarters.

WOW now
means Wars of Worlds
Not Weed of Wisdom Babygirl
Ukraine slogged into
Putin’s rapacious jaws;
His enemies fall
From open windows
A last breath death crescendo
Defenestrated delicately as a
Rusty chainsaw.
An evil ominous Hamas
Took innocent souls
But is twenty for one
a proportionate revenge goal?

“Little free libraries” sprouted like weeds,
But “little freedom gun shops” planted insidious seeds.

An infamous loser once bragged
With the ladies he just had to grab
And we’d get so tired of being a winner
Now with 91 felonies on his plate
There’ll be nothing left to dictate
In the Big House he’ll be eating girl dinners.

Across the sea the Royals roiled
Harry no hurry to bury the axe
With Daddy now King he can relax
And not worry about an ascension maybe
Brother William will be the Nepo baby.
And who now wears the renounced royal pants
‘Tis the Missus doing her evil M3GAN dance.

Our year twenty three
Did much to inspire
The guys thinking about the Roman Empire.
The ladies girl dinners with Kelce and Tay
An eggplant and peaches cassoulet.

That raps it up for another year
A bit obtuse my words got loose
In doggerel downward rhyming lines
that at least were not
generated by an Ai bot.

Moving forward don’t say “in the future.”
The old “sexist pigs” are the new Cisheteropatriarchals.
You do you, not “Be yourself.”
Existential not “real.”
Just unpack it…don’t “explain it.”
Be sure to hard pivot and not “change your mind.”
The key word in Artificial intelligence is the word “artificial.”

Happy New 2024 Year
Lawrence
Mediaize.com

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