Gunshotbola Epidemic Spreads Across US

The first symptom is a sudden hot fever of impact accompanied by the sense of a loud sound or explosion.
Then comes the bleeding…sometimes from the eyes, ears, mouth and a sudden gaping hole in the head, torso, or limbs.
Vomiting may ensue….along with uncontrolled expelling of urine and feces with possibly horrible external and internal spilling of intestines and or other organs. 
Spasms followed by coughing of blood. And then death.
Or with luck and quick treatment in an emergency room only injury and temporary or permanent  disability will result.
Extremely contagious. Each year over 30,000 Americans die from it. The disease? Gunshotbola. 
Causes: widespread misinterpretation of the 2nd Amendment; human consumption of fruit bat NRA lobbyist meat and cross-species breeding of humans with simian non-human primate NRA  National Rifle Association leaders.
Gunshotbola is a member of the Gununntae virus, which is Latin for gun nut, a deadly pathogen reportedly carried by NRA members suspected of having eated fruit bat guano. 
For years, this deadly contagion has been confined to the United States. No other modern nation has experienced and tolerated outbreaks of Gunshotbola as this country does. How to protect yourself? Keep ducking. And support handgun control legislation in your state and community; and support organizations such as the Coalition to Stop Gun Violence. www.csgv.org

Author: Lawrence Rudmann

Multi-genre comedic political poet and trender/periscoper of what's around the corner. Avid tennis player and ukulele strummer. Comedic poetry stimulator and healer.

One thought on “Gunshotbola Epidemic Spreads Across US”

  1. Coming soon to a pharmacy near you from GlaxoSmithKline – Kevlaria(TM), your first line of defense against falling victim to Gunshotbola.

    Like

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