How to Make ISIS WASWAS

Republicans, neocons and Grumpy Grandpa (Git Off My Lawn) McCain are shouting for war against the invasion of America by knife-wielding ISIS Islamic warriors in jalabiya robes and turbans. By land, by sea, by air. (mmmm .. getting hungry for a Land Sea Air McDonald’s burger..Big Mac inserted with a filet ‘o fish and a chicken patty). This ISIS invasion is imminent and already underway with enemies hitting us at our most vulnerable and weakest joints: Facebook and YouTube. How do we repel this invasion of alien creatures bent on making us wear orange onesies while kneeling to them on prayer rugs eating falafel instead of Land Sea Air burgers? They’re coming for us so how do we stop them? 
The Nookular Option? No, too dangerous.. Might wipe out the world which is exactly what these ISIS guys want.
BOTG (boots in the ground)? Hmmm, sounds inviting. McCain’s already put his boots on ground in Vietnam and continues to want to give every American youth a similar life-affirming/depriving opportunity. Could be too expensive and might require a draft to fill this once/twice/thrice in a lifetime Boots opportunity. 
Airstrikes & Drones: ah, yes…”bomb bomb bomb, bomb-bomb Iran” McCain gleefully once sang in a cover of Beach Boys’ Barbara Ann. Easy death from above. Bombs in the Skies keep boots off the ground. Or blow off the boots and shoes of bad guys and innocent women and children. 
Coalition of the Willing…Remember that from the Bush Iraq clusterfcuk?  It soon was exposed as the Coalition of the Billing when it became you pay then we’ll play. This time NATO will coalesce to conquer. Better than us going it alone. 
Boots by Proxy: Now here’s an idea! As our largest recipient of military aid, over $100 billion since the 1960s and currently $3 billion annually, doesn’t our client Israel owe us something? Where’s the exalted Israeli Special Forces? Let them plan an attack to “degrade and destroy” ISIS making them WASWAS. 
Or better yet…quit letting fanatical terrorist groups goad us into war. It’s what they want… And unfortunately it’s what some here in the US want. Why does America always need an enemy to fight? More war, anyone?

Author: Lawrence Rudmann

Multi-genre comedic political poet and trender/periscoper of what's around the corner. Avid tennis player and ukulele strummer. Comedic poetry stimulator and healer.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s