Which new currency to use? I’m putting my money on LitCoin. As the drunken character Lebedev said in Dostoyevsky’s “The Idiot,” “There’s more wealth, but there’s less strength; the binding idea doesn’t exist anymore; everything has turned soft, everything is rotten, and people are rotten.” (Five Litcoins, please.)….praajek.com
LitCoins, or Literature Coins (not to be confused with Litecoin, one of many alt currencies)…like Bitcoins, are a new currency. Unlike Bitcoin, LitCoin is not a crypto currency, i.e. based on cryptology and the solving of mathematical crypto equations. LitCoin is a paper, analog currency made up of pages torn from works of literature with higher values on literary masterpieces and lesser value on pulp and airport fiction. Like Bitcoin, LitCoin come onto the market by people who “mine” for coins, or ‘miners” in Bitcoin parlance. Bitcoin miners work computers aggregately to solve complicated mathematical equations in order to create new coins. People wanting to “create” or “mine” for LitCoin must go through a process of “reading” instead of “mining” for coins. Readers for LitCoin must solve complicated literary analysis of works of literature. For example, a Reader wanting to create new LitCoins might have to analyze the plot, structure, characterization, tone and mood of Melville’s Moby Dick; or discuss the symbolism, imagery of T.S, Eliot’s “The Wasteland.” Or, on a more linear basis, construct and diagram the fourth section of William Faulkner’s “The Bear.”
LitCoins can be earned only by non-collaborative effort unlike “miners” for Bitcoins who can summon the power of computers world-wide in solving crypto-equations. If one wants to “buy” or obtain Bitcoins, one must work through a Bitcoin exchange like Mt. Gox, physically located in Japan, and link to your bank account that contains your dollars or other fiat currency. Mt. Gox, in the news recently for “losing/misplacing $450 million worth of Bitcoins, began as an exchange station for collectors and traders of Magic the Gathering fantasy cards, thus M(magic) T(he) G(athering)…go figure. But one can buy LitCoins by going to any used bookstore and asking to buy LitCoins. Not all bookstores are authorized to sell them and it is up to you to discover which store sells them. This can only be done in person; no phone calls or Googling. Once you find an authorized LitCoin Exchange Bookstore (LEB) then all you do is whisper an esoteric quote from a major character in Russian literature (these quotes can change from day-to-day) pull out some of that old-school fiat currency folded in your purse of wallet and bingo you have a fistful or maybe a ream of LitCoins.
Like Bitcoins, LitCoins can be safely stored and protected. Bitcoin owners store their currency in digital “wallets,” software designed to allow payment for the free-flowing exchange of goods and services. LitCoin holders, on the other hand, store their currency in physical cloth “bookbags.” These analog cloth “book bags” are often adorned with commercial imprints or “endorsements” signifying allegiance to a particular brand; a bank, a department store, or sometimes printed with clever or whimsical statements such as “Mimimalist,” “ToteBag,” “Not A Plastic Bag,” or existential questions “What R U Look N @?,” or “What is the Meaning of My Bag?” The LitCoin “book bag” provides protection and security of LitCoins for the LitCoin owner. LitCoin can be easily exchanged for goods and services with few protocols required for the execution of the exchange unlike Bitcoin which requires lengthy encryption passwords and digital doodads like computers or smart phones.
Bitcoins were purportedly started by a mysterious Mr. Satoshi Nakamoto of the Island of Pseudonym who has so far escaped discovery by Google, NSA and People Magazine. LitCoins are generally thought to have been created the day before yesterday by a mysterious Ms. Mortimota Muckinfussamuss, who some say anonymously wrote the Cliff Notes on James Joyce’s seminal novel Ulysses.