Mitt & "Mom"…?

Speculation about Mitt Romney’s choice of a Vice President running-mate is nearing critical mass. Will he choose Florida’s gusano boy-wonder and faux-Cuban refugee Senator Marco Rubio, (Mitt and Marco.. conservative Cheech & Chong dopplegangers?); another Floridian Jeb “It’s My Turn” Bush? Gotta win Florida, right? Ohio is a must-win, too, so there’s lots of talk about Ohio’s Junior Senator Rob “The Cincinnati Kid” Portman. But with polls showing a major gender gap and the Republican Party’s War on Women (WOW), Mitt might just need to pick a women to punch his ticket to the White House. Michelle “Krazy Eyes” Bachmann? Naw, her eyes are too crazy. Sarah Palin already cashed-in her “game-change” card and with her aging-porn star looks might detract from 65-year old Mitt’s anti-aging “Just For Men” Morman-formula look. With his “severely conservative” creds always in question, Mitt needs to hook up with a real “severe” female conservative; one who will smooth the wavy flaggings of the Teabaggers; one who will soothe the sorrows of the sanctimonious Sanitorium supporters. A Vice President candidate who is a reflection of today’s multi-cultural, multi-tasking women and mothers. I present to Mitt his very own real “Game Changer” running mate: Virginia Foxx.
Virgee Foxx, Future Veep
I wrote about Congresswoman Foxx last year in this blog as the new Sarah Palin. “Want a  Mama Grizzzly? then how about a Madam Foxy?  North Carolina Congresswoman Virginia Foxx (R-5th) ….is a foxy attractive fresh faced yet experienced narrow-focused, traditional extremist with Bible-thumpin old fashioned, anti-choice,anti-govmit, anti-socialist, anti-gay, anti-feminist credentials and values. A cultural warrior who can re-ignite the cultural wars of the 1960’s and keep’em smoking and festering. According the the Almanac of American Politics, Foxx, while in the State Legislature “… sponsored a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage and a bill to deny Social Security benefits to illegal aliens. She actively supported gun rights and home schooling, and she opposed abortion rights. In the House she was one of 11 members voting against passage of the $52 billion relief package following Hurricane Katrina yet taking credit for $500,000 for a teapot museum in Sparta, NC.” A teapot museum. If that doesn’t establish her Teabagger cred then what? Foxx seems to have it all to step into Palin’s pumps. Audacious willingness to support and promote extreme positions, obvious charisma, babe starlet looks and over-the-top sex appeal. Picture Virgee Foxx in a pair of nine inch Manolos, short sharpened pencil skirt, just a touch of killer cleavage. A Teabaggers wet dream, a political cougar on the prowl for that ultimate one night stand, a chance to rule the night, guide the nation, bring us back to the 18th Century when men were men and women were glad of it. Yes, Virginia, there might be a Santa Claus for you. God didn’t open the door for Sarah to walk thru. Maybe He’s getting ready to be the Gentleman and open your door. Then you can strut through it, swing down the runway….” with Mitt on your arm.  Mitt, she’s yours for the asking. 

Author: Lawrence Rudmann

Multi-genre comedic political poet and trender/periscoper of what's around the corner. Avid tennis player and ukulele strummer. Comedic poetry stimulator and healer.

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